An overdue reply

Submitted by Charlotte (United States), Dec 13, 2010 at 02:22

Your contention that you have the ability to tell a woman what to do with her body despite not being the one to actually have to face the dangers of labor, birth or raising the would-be-child in question is audacious. Life is not about quantity, Luigi, it's about quality. I know you believe that you think you are a moral person because you are siding for "life" here - but what exactly is the quality of life you are advocating? A fatherless, impoverished existence? The 18 year emotional and financial burden for a woman who could take that time and energy and invest it into establishing herself so that her future children will not suffer? Until you actually consider the harsh realities of what you are advocating - don't pretend to be a moral person.

Furthermore, your contention that a zygote/embryo/ early gestational fetus is a "baby" completely contradicts science. Pregnancy is a PROCESS - it's not a miraculous moment set in stone. A conceived zygote can by pass the uterus directly, failing to adhere to the uterine wall - almost 70% of conceived eggs do - if conception itself is the point of personhood in your theological stance, this would make your God the grand abortionist. Women have been known to actually reabsorb their embryos in time of extreme stress - the body is engineered to protect quality of life over quantity - because there can be no life where there is no mother to bring it forth and nurture it without durress.

Finally - in your desperation to take a cheap stab at me for disagreeing with your stance that a woman has a duty to incubate over actually live a quality life - you revealed you don't very much at all about the middle eastern people you critique constantly. My husband is TURKISH, I've said it MANY times on this site.

Turks don't speak Arabic, Luigi. With as much as you dole out advice to women married to muslims I expect you to know that the muslims in question actually have distinct cultural and linguistic backgrounds. Not all Muslims are Arab - in fact, MOST of them are NOT.

A year has passed since I last came across this post - I'm still an atheist, I'm still a flaming liberal, and I'm still married to my Muslim Man. Sorry to burst your malevolent fantasy that he would kick my behind, marry a cousin, or take off after getting a green card - nothing of the sort has happened. On the contrary, he's applying for his US citizenship now, as I am applying for my Turkish citizenship.

As far as your theory concerning if I married him because he's "different" and that some how makes me "feel good" - it's another ridiculous thought. My parents are immigrants from Europe - thus I have always been "different" than my fellow Americans - no need to fill that void with external people considering my entire family and cultural identity fills it for me. I married my husband because he's one of the most intellectual, compassionate, thoughtful, conversive, studious, adventurous, artistic, ambitious, ethical, and understanding people I have ever and will ever have the pleasure to befriend - I knew from his character he was the type of person I wanted to build a life with.

I know it's hard for you to get your head around someone actually posting here because they have insight into how to make eastern/western-interfaith relationships work from experience; especially considering you only post to shove your fundamentalist right wing beliefs down the mouths of desperate women who entered relationships with people you find morally reprehensible for being brown and muslim - but that doesn't mean folks like me don't exist.

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