I Don't Ever Want to Generalize

Submitted by Hawaiian Girl (United States), Jul 30, 2011 at 20:14

Thank you for your thoughts. I truly appreciate them. I am happy to know that your husband is wonderful, and I don't doubt in any way that he is a deviation from what may be the norm of that culture. As I get to know my man, though, the more I see his father, and he himself acknowledges that he inherited the worst of his father's characteristics, one of which is the severe anger management issue. (Obviously, I haven't run away completely -- yet. I can say, though, that he has chased my love away, but I do care for his well-being and wish he would be okay with a platonic relationship.) His father was a very abusive husband. His mom died of cancer years ago. I feel that he killed her. She was isolated, had no family on this continent, and was ordered not to vent to anyone. My guy lived this abuse and depression, he's completely affected, and all signs point to him becoming exponentially more controlling and abusive if I stayed. I would like to influence him to be more positive, and to be more "mellow," as he says I am. He says that I'm a sweetheart, and that is hard to come by.

Anyway.... If you have not already read the book, "A Thousand Splendid Suns," please read it. It's a very educational book on the culture. The abuse in it is sad and shocking but awesome to read because I do not want any of that for myself . Thankfully, I am very strong and have an amazing support system that I never hesitate to use. My guy has tried to tell me not to vent to anyone, but that directive went in one ear and immediately went out the other.

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