American woman/Egyptian Man Kuwait Marriage Islam

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 11, 2011 at 00:40

Hi Juliette and thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure it's not terribly easy to ask these kinds of questions.

I think Isis pretty much has it down, and if you haven't read her response already I suggest taking a look.

I would like to add some more things from a male perspective.

First of all, if this relationship is entirely on-line, it's not for real. That I can assure you of.

His jealousy about the facebook picture comments is a concern. Now if we are talking about border-line pornographic stuff, then he does have a valid compliant to be fair. But you mention that he is jealous and does not want you to have male friends. He will be very obstinate about your interaction with men you are not related to.

That's not a good sign, because this often (and it's not just a Muslim or Arab thing) is the tip of the iceberg. Men who are so uptight and conservative about your life, particularly friendships with other men, could very well have the expectation for you to stay at home, do the kitchen chores and raise the kids.

A lot of women on here are in that situation, and from progressive areas of America, West-Central Europe, Austrailia, Japan and Canada that can be one heck of a shock and often doesn't resonate well, particularly since she doesn't know about it (among other things) until AFTER the wedding.

It really has nothing to do with your age difference or race. Women of all different backgrounds---black, white, Native, Hispanic East Indian, Asian----have all posted on here similar stories to yours.

It's his behavior that is the problem.

For one thing, him wanting to marry you right away---what does that mean? It sounds to me like you are feeling rushed into this. Hurry up and meet his family and then its off you go!

A lot of the scammers on here try and get women to marry them ASAP because marriage in most places is more than just a ceremony of committment, it's also a contract with the state you are living in---one that is not easily broken in a place like Kuwait.

So does that mean he is a scammer? Perhaps not, but the trick here is that people who are sponatneous buy into things.

That's one of the oldest sales gimmicks in the book.

I also have concerns about this promise he makes to buy you things. I have to agree with Isis that by his demeanor, his religion and family will come first.

He could also be asking you not to bring money so he can control you more. That is my feeling. I'm not suggesting he'll put on the street, but he would be able to better control you if had no outside resources.

What concerns me the most about your post is that you were looking for answers about your engagement on the internet, even before you wrote on here. For five years on here, I've always advised women to trust those feminine instincts more than anything else.

You really must ask yourself, Juliette, if this is such a wonderful thing, why do you have to have confirmation from people on the internet?

I will certainly give you credit for having the courage to admit that something may be wrong. That's half the battle right there and you are ahead of the curve compared to a lot of people, including myself at some points.

Juliette, I have some very strong concerns about this relationship and at the very least you need to slow it down. Don't think you have to rush into things just because a plane ticket or catering is paid for. If he doesn't understand that, then he certainly is up to something or has his own selfish interests at heart.

Either way, it's an unhappy road for you.

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