my story

Submitted by Amiira (Philippines), Sep 11, 2011 at 11:26

I am from a traditional Moslem family. My parents made me wear the hijab at the age of six and I never had the chance to join any sports activities since then. I was diagnosed with mild ADHD when I was young and the doctors strongly recommended that I should be engaged in sports (aside from going to my therapist), but my family was against the idea of me going outdoors or playing with the kids outside.

I was forced to read the Quran, say my prayers, practice Ramadan and never to question my faith. As I was growing up, I used to ask my female Moslem teachers why we are not allowed to choose our own husbands just like the other women and all they could say is that Allah did not say so. Some of them even pointed out that men are higher than women, In my search for answers, I read the Quran further and realised that the teachings in Quran are mostly in favour of men. Women were never considered as an important creation; thus, we are bound to follow our husbands/fathers/elder men.

As I continue to gain knowledge and see the monstrosity that is behind the religion that I was born in, a tragedy struck me. I was raped by a much older cousin when we visited their house during the Eid. I was just 13 at that time. I told this to my father and he slapped me several times and called me a liar. My mother whom I thought would support me immediately called my cousin's parents. My wretched cousin (he was 30 and had two wives back then) offered to marry me, under the pretense of saving me from "shame". I was so scared and I felt numb when I heard all this. The wedding was arranged immediately and my life has been hell ever since. For five years, I endured being raped by my monstrous husband. He was a monster who pretended to be pious and frequented the mosque. But the moment he goes home, he calls out his first wife to lay with him in bed and commanded me to watch so that I could learn how to "please him".

When I finished secondary school, I asked him if I could go to university. He said that the only thing a woman must need to learn is how to become a good wife. He would even read verses from the Quran about the punishment for women who displease their husbands. I know, many would say that my case is just one of the few, and Islam is not the problem but my husband. But looking at it, the teachings from Quran have moulded not just my husband but many other Moslem men to think so highly of themselves. There was no direct teaching from the Quran that says women must not be hurt at all cost. In fact, the Quran allows women to be beaten up their husbands.

Two years ago, my husband got into an accident and died. I and the other two wives did not shed a tear. We secretly rejoiced in his death and made a vow never to marry another Moslem pig again. He left a sum of money which is good enough for the three of us to live a decent life. The first wife took us under her wing and decided to migrate to a nearby Asian country. We have burnt our veils, dressed in a way that we always wanted to, opened up a small shop and right now, I am on my last year in the university. I have completely turned my back on Islam. I am no longer the scared little girl who'd just sit down and say yes to whatever a man says to me. I am no longer frightened by the teachings of Quran that say that a woman will be burnt in hell if she disobeys her husband. I know now, that there is indeed a God, and this God loves everyone and will never oppress anyone for their gender, race or religion. This kind of God does not exist in the teachings of Quran.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".