To Lost----College Relationship, Sex buddies, France and Religious differences

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Oct 14, 2011 at 12:21

Dear lost and heart-broken:

The key question you have asked is "What is going on with him"?

As a guy who is probably more religious than the average person, I think what is happening is a struggle within him.

Aside from your personal views on religion, this is all on him. People--men--who are religious sometimes fall for a girl who does not share their belief.

It tends to be more of a superficial nature, good looks, or something more tangible, like the fact that you were both students and perhaps had similar interests.

For a time, the religious man might find this fun and interesting and excuse his beliefs and make an exception for you, but in the long run, it weighs more and more on conscience, because people generally don't change.

I was in this situation a few years ago where I was a dating a girl who was Wiccan. She eventually ended it to go back to her ex-fiance, whom she later broke up with for good. But, it was for the best because we would not have been a spectacular couple, unless one of us changed.

If you've read some of the other posts, you'll notice how women tend to convert to the man's religion. Even the most hard-core feminist doesn't really hold a candle to it, but the point is that if you don't convert or if he doesn't push you to convert (essentially not discussing it), well, it can twist and pull him around.

Based on what you said, I'm quite convinced that he is having an internal battle with his heart. I think on some level, he does care about you and maybe he does love you.

But, his religion is important to him, and I'd bet real money that is why he's with this other girl now.

The kink in this analysis may be that you broke up with him first, and frankly, you have that right and it's not a decision I will criticize and it may have been for the same reason that he is with this other woman.

I don't expect this to be much of a consolation at this point, but the reality of life is that even with all this information on tolerance, diversity ect ect getting pushed at us left and right, people will still end up with someone from their own race, culture or religion.

The census statistics of every single country that has them proves this almost without exception.

Regarding his request for you to be a back-up sex partner, I'm glad you rejected it, because he clearly doesn't respect you. And sex without a ring your hand is a messy deal no matter what you religion is and I will always advise against it.

I completely understand that you have feelings for him. I'd be more worried if you just turned on and off like a switch.

But the thing with people like him---they will keep calling, e-mailing, texting ect. I've had that happen to me numerous times after break-ups. Don't even be surprised if he contacts you out of the blue months or even years from now.

Users are relentless like that.

I would encourage you to go out with your family and friends and have a good time. Get out of the house, and get a new phone number if you have to and block him on chats---uninstall the chat programs if you have too. The other people you talk in your life should understand if they really do care.

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