Muslim men and marrying.

Submitted by Victoria (Belgium), Oct 18, 2011 at 20:10

Hi, I have just fallen on this page, and I'm so happy i have found it. trying to explain my story..

I have been seeing a muslim man from Maroc, I live in Belgium. since i have met him, I no longer work where I used to, he's finding it hard to accept my one day a week work, I'm studying beauty studies.. but now only allowed to touch women. In belgium it is our culture to kiss hello, on the check, once. I am no longer allowed to. I have lost most contact with most friends.. I am showered with gifts, escorted everywhere, and taken home (no longer allowed to take the train). He is jelous of any one near me, no Facebook. He came to my family home in the country side, and he likes my father, and my father likes him (I live at home while studing) I am 24, he is 34.I have been taken to meet his whole family accept his father yet. he is always talking about keeping me by his side forever, I wear what I want as long as it is respectful and classy.. which I am anyway, I drink when I go out with him (he always insists I'm next to him, even when he is out with his friends.. though I'm not allowed out with my friends anymore without him) I do love him.. we are in love, we understand each others cultures, as he did not grow up in Maroc. But there is a big big but...

He was forced to marry two years ago by his family, and he paid a price, she was not a verging and he found out she was seeing someone else, she was from Maroc also. they only married in Islam, not on paper in Europe. He finished with her.. and a month later she said that she was pregnant.. there is now a year and a half baby.

I only visited his apartment once.. and I did the whole inspection.. it was beautiful.. like a woman's touch, there was clean washing with her underwear and baby clothes (but she doesn't live there apparently) and there was more washing in the washing machine... but then again, he's so busy, there is nothing in his fridge.. nd normally with a woman at him there would be.. but then why are her clothes still there and in the washing machine?? Am I being played by the biggest player imaginable??? He told me she comes to do her washing sometimes... but if that was true, you wouldn't leave it in the washing machine on hold to get full. and there are baby things everywhere.. how come? if the baby only visits? and there is perfume and a lot of her clothes... I don't know I'm very confused.

Can a muslim man divorce a woman he has recently married and had a child with, with out being looked badly at by his family? or is he still married, and planning on me being his second wife??!!?? I do know for a fact this man loves me, and would do everything not to hurt me.. as in hide a wife and baby. I am reading the Koran, which was bought for me by his family, just for knowledge. he talks about children and marriage all the time. She wears Burka, and is not attractive physically or inside.. but I do not want to be a replacement, a second wife, or an "infidel sex slave" ever to a man. I could not imagine what his reaction would be if i ever decided to leave him... he is so... protective. I am leaving to Maroc in November to meet the Father.

Am I just being paranoid? but I feel confused... I have so many questions that I can not ask... He comes from a very known Maroccan huge family. He is very controlling, but we still have a very normal relationship.. he was married once before this one too.. to another maroccan woman, who gave his a son, and then took a lot of money of him to I've to his family, and he left her, took the child, and she has never been seen.. she lives with parts of her family apparently.. does he not need divorce before he would marry me? if I would marry him, would it be a nice marriage? would my family be allowed to come?? I am so confused... he wouldn't be playing me, if he made me meet the whole family and I talk to his mother who adores me once a week... please help, Im reading so much on the internet, and so much koran.. that I am lost... he is so so busy all the time with his company.. but always makes sure, that I am at home or with him. I need advice... I know nothing of their culture..

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