cihangirgal

Submitted by Blondiemoto (United States), Dec 6, 2011 at 19:32

This is a Turkish man married to an American girl responding to cihangirgirl. Instead of telling you what to do, here are a few observations to help you resolve the issue:

1. He does like you, which can be for a variety of reasons (your looks, your financial prospects, your nationality, etc.)

2. His parents either would not approve of his marriage to you, or it would take a huge effort to convince them. In any case, he is not strong enough (financially or character-wise) to tell them off and marry you.

3. He has a conscience, so he is telling you that it would not work between the two of you. But he does want to continue to be with you until one of you gets married so he is not being as clear as he should be. If he were, you would not be as confused as you are now.

4. He does not seem committed to you. He obviously has been seeing and continues to see other women. So in his mind you appear to be a long-running fling that he wants to keep around as long as possible without flat-out lying or making a commitment.

OK I said I wouldn't tell you what to do, but if you really would ask for my opinion, I suggest that you give him an ultimatum about marriage. That is, either he tells you he wants to marry you and introduces you to his parents as such and takes the necessary steps, or you will not be seeing him. I think putting a Turkish man's feet to the fire is necessary for him to get serious. Otherwise he will continue to play you like a fiddle. Oh, and never ever give or lend him money.

I hope this helps. If you have further questions, don't hesitate to contact my wife at the e-mail address we provide here and we'll try to give you more info and advice.

Good luck..

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