To Juanita

Submitted by Jennifer (United States), Nov 6, 2014 at 07:02

Dear Juanita, I completely understand how this man is talking to you. The fact that you are older, been divorced, cannot give him children are all red flags. In the culture in this part of the world and I do have to add being a Muslim there is not a man who will most likely be serious about you but about what he can gain by marrying you. You are also responsible for them while they are here up to 10 years if you marry him. I've been there already and done that. I was 5 years older, never been married and no children. My marriage was a lie before it ever began. They want the American dream and when they get it and they know they are in good standing of staying in the USA they will leave you. A lot of times they bring one of their women from their country here and marry her. His young virgin who can give him many children. Majority of families from this culture and of Islam do not approve of a man marrying an older foreign woman who is non Muslim, not a virgin, and cannot give him children. A lot of times the family is on the scam.

These men will tell you they will give you the sun, moon , and stars. In fact the entire plan is to use you. They will lie to you because they believe it's fine to lie to a non Muslim. I can guarantee you're not the only one he talks to and every one of them is getting "the sweet talk". They are actors and will do whatever they have to...to get a visa or green card. I know you're setup for a heart break. I suggest you end this relationship. There are too many red flags. You need to block all contact and you will feel you will never heal from the pain but you will. I'm a survivor of this kind of marriage scam. He was the worst man I ever met after we were married. I couldn't believe he was the same person. Actually he wasn't. He showed me who he really was. I've never been as crushed before in my life by anyone but I got away from him and I've been healing. I have wounds because I tolerated too much abuse before I got away from him. You can see by all the stories on here there is a pattern. Save yourself and get out of this relationship scam before it becomes a real disaster. We're here to support you but you have to make up your mind that you deserve better than this. I haven't told you anything that is not true. All of what you wrote are red flags and don't send him anything.

Never send money!!! This seems to be one of the biggest problems. Women are going broke and losing what they have from sending these men money. They target women in their 30's and older, single or divorced, have children already. The lonely woman is who is the target. I hope you take in consideration of what I have told you. I've lived it and it's a living hell not anything like it is before the marriage. Best wishes!

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