|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
WARNING TO WESTERN WOMEN.Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by little lemon (Australia), Jun 3, 2015 at 11:21 i would like to let everyone know about my experience for over one year. PLEASE READ AND TAKE MY ADVICE OKAY!!!!! I was a confident, strong minded, optimistic person. I loved travelling and experiencing different cultures and languages. I enjoyed being with ethnic people as I am an italian myself... People around me were always complimenting me on how beautiful my face was, i spent every day at the gym, i worked hard for my own buiness and had a lot of friends and family around me. there was not one day that i didnt leave the house. i was always conservative with my dress and never ever wore revealing clothes. my parents were reasonably strict so i was always cautious with who i associated myself with... Just before I met my partner i was the happiest person :) i had men doting over me and chasing me always asking to take me out on dates or asking me for my number whereever it is i went. I never gave it out- and i was far from looking for a relationship, i was young and busy. I had places to go, things to do and people to inspire. my whole life was like a beautiful sun. i was unheart. i have a beautiful loving family that reassured me when i felt indecisive and done everything to make me happy. one night... i went for a coffee with one of my close friendsand her boyfriend.. coincidently she bumped into two turkish men she knew through clubbing etc. I didnt think much of them, i didnt really like them. I even asked one of them why he is out late on a friday night and left his wife home with his newborn? how innocent minded i was. I didnt have a good feeling about them. Luckily enough one of the women i worked with was sat behind so i chatted and chatted until it was time to leave. The following night the same men were at my friends place we had planned to all go clubbing. I was dressed up and had a plate of food and a bottle of vodka... as i walked through the dooor both men jumped off their chairs and said MASHALLAH how beautiful you look blah blah blah. I got talking to the unmarried one and all night he was by my side. his phone was flat so he took my phone and messaged himself 'i love you"... it was on from there. we caught up the following day and went for coffee. i liked this guy. he flattered me, he said all the right things.. told me i was the one. a few weeks later he met my family- i met his. they were different. i guess they were nice at first but this was all a fake. everything was beautful at the beginning. he brought me flowers every week. he came to my work to surprise me. he called and texted me and couldnt wait to see me. he sat with me and told me i am to be the woman he marries... he loved me. i loved him too. we started bikering but i thought it was due to him being stressed at his work. he told me he wanted to open a business of his own. so what did i do? i found him a place, i took three months off my work. and from paper work to tiles to the plumber right to the plate and the cash register...... i set it up while he sat back and relaxed. things got more difficult. he used to get angry with me if the council withheld something. i remember it all so clearly he would ignore me. tell me im dumb and he never should have let me touch whatever that business intailed. i used to cry. everything went to plan and there was nothing to ever be stressed about? he was always yelling at me. snapping in public like an animal and i would quietly cry in the car or in the corner until he was ready to take me home. he left me crying on tthe floor ina car park. and he told me to call my mother to pick me up. why?? because i said hello to one of the married business owners that i have know for years. just a casual hello. the abuse got more frequent with him always telling me i belong on the streets, im useless? he doesnt want to be with me? and two hours later aww sorry babe i love you, its just you.. its your fault i get like this! you know i love you. i was headed for emotional turmoil. i fasted during ramadam. i served him turkish tea and coffee. i went to his family with full hands always gifting them nice things. i was at meetings for his nieces in school.. whatever i could do for this family i would do. i loved him. i even wrote emails to lawyers aout his mothers case. he had a abusive father that bashed the mother. but every week he would snap. i couldnt handle it. i quit the gym because he got jealous that others would look at me. i cut out my friends because he said they were bad news... i even sacrificed my work. all i did was sit home and wait for him to call or message me. i was depressed. he was always so volatile. never pleased with me anymore. he told me to loose some weight, change my hair, the was i dressed. his sisters brought me baggy pants. i was dumb. he was stripping my confidence with every word. he always told me that i could never do better then him. that hm and his family were the best. he begun badmouthing my mother for being loud. my sister for being honest and my brother in law for wearing a gold chain? he badmouthed every person in my family and told me he didnt want to see them. and if we are to marry i couldnt see them. i begun to self harm. i thought it was me. i thought my family was shit and i was ugly. i couldnt see the worth in me or why he could be with me? i lost my confidence i couldnt look people in the eye. i went to hospital - i was suicidal. he knew it was him. he came over the next day took me out to lunch and said he felt remorseful of the way he treated me. he was over most nights for dinnner and tea. i served him like a king. filling his glass every time it entered. i payed over $3,000 for his insurance. anyhthing i could help him with i did. i just wanted to please him i would do anything. he lost interest. he pulled back. he always reminded me that i was now an angry and sad person and he didnt want to be with me. he said he didnt love the person i was. and he was scared of our future. i understood. i saw myself and thought... ill set him free. but it didnt end there. he came back and we broke up atlease 14 times... never for more then a day. he couldnt handle the fact that any other man could end up with me. he started saying silly things ABUSIVE things... like if he has to end up in jail but teaches me a lesson, then he would. a man i loved became a man i feared. i smashed four iphones, glasses... i sliced my legs like a butcher. i was frustrated... but i still hadnt recognised it was him. i spoke to my family about my feelings.. i started opening up to close friends and people i worked with. they were shocked. they had notice me changing... i wasnt full of life anymore. he belittled me. this one event i recall so clearly. he took me to his mothers house and told me to go cook with his sisters... i went there and i cooked. he was on his phone.. for over seven hours he didnt get off his phone and he didnt even look at me while we were all eating lunch. i served him. he kept his head down. he ate. he stood up, and he walked to the other room and continued to be on his phone. from lunch time until 9:30 pm i was watching tv at his mums still. not a drop of water went into my mouth and not a thing was offered. he was still ignoring me. i begun to tear up but tried to hide it. he hated it when i cried. it made him wild. he turned aroud and said what is wrong with you?! i said nothing i felt sick and i needed to go home. i was shaking. i was cold and i was starving. my cody was haing a panic attack ... i knew what was coming. he got up out of his seat and started yelling and swearing though the house. his sister brought me a tea and i sipped on it. he continued on his phone. i whispered in his ear... "please, just look at me?" he yelled at me telling me he is busy and im an attention seeker. he screamed infront of his whole family telling them that he knows what hes going to do with me... he was wild. his eyes were fierce and i couldnt even bare to arggue. i just asked him to take me home. he told me to get my stupid mother to pick me up. he kept on swearing and slamming things. i was scared. his mum and sister were looking at me like i was some wild animal. i asked if i could please get my bag, i was scared. i wanted my phone. i stood up to walk over to my bag and his mother pushed me onto the couch and yelled NO. they were all yelling in turkish and i was shaking and crying. i could barely breathe i just had my head in my hands and i couldnt believe what was happining. i asked one again and i pleaded. please give me my phone. i would like to leave, im very sad and my body is in shock i need my mother to come pick me up. i stood up to walk to my bad and his mother once again pushed me harder to the couch. i fell back. i couldnt believe it. i was in shock. they were screaming in turkish and i was crying. i was being held against my will. i wanted to leave, they were all screaming at me... i couldnt understand it. i stood up... i ran for my bag and i said to him.. if you dont take me home this very second... i will walk. his mother grabbed my arm tight and pulled me back and pushed me towards her son. she didnt even look at me. i kissed them goodbye i got in his car and i didnt speak, not a word. i couldnt. i was shakinng in shock. this man i loved and his gentle family were all a bunch of animals. i was in a hostile household and stuck against my will for hours. he got out of the car and dropped me home. i walked through the door my parents were very concerend. they knew he wasnt good for me, they told me every week. he emotionally tormented me. i cant write everything down here. but i am a shell of the woman i once was. why? because of some muslim man that used and abused me. i never lost my virginity to him. he kissed and cuddled me when it suited him... (maybe once a week) i got sick of living like an unattractive animal he broke up with me after every argument. i turned into an emotional mess and he wanted to give up becuase of my anger? i done everything for him and he turned around and bad mouthed me. i was used. he wanted to see me all the time when emails had to be sent or things needed to be done. i was at every meeting. but as soon as he got my knowlegde , he got bored and didnt want to even spend a second with me. GIRLS I WAS A STRONG PERSON!!! everone i knew used to compliment me on my wonderful character. and this muslim turk took that all away. i can barely look at myself. PLEASE if your daugther, or you, or someone you know who is western is dating a muslim... show them this. i didnt have children or assets but emotionaly i nearly killed myself. this is what these men do. they love for the first 7 months. PLEASE . he isnt going to marry you if you arent a virgin anyway. i thought this man was different too... but they are all the same. emotiona tourmenters. what he has put me through i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy... it took me one whole year to wake up. lucky i did before i died. i read the quran, i prayed on a mat, i told him i wanted to learn about islam (i knew our kids would have to be muslims) and he disgraced me. i learnt turkish to speak with his mother. i organised their lives... for wat? to be spat on>? please for the safety of yourself.. steer clear- its there religion. women cant be heard. they are slaves to the family. he used me. i have accepted that, i have apologized to god.. and im reading the bible. i hope god forgives me. one day i will be back where i was... but please DONT go down this path. there are plenty of wonderful men out there.. i remember from my single days. ladies. dont do it. you wil never be accepted. i done everything and it still wasnt good enough.... if you need any advice please comment. Submitting....
Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21922) on this item
|
Latest Articles |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
All materials by Daniel Pipes on this site: © 1968-2024 Daniel Pipes. daniel.pipes@gmail.com and @DanielPipes Support Daniel Pipes' work with a tax-deductible donation to the Middle East Forum.Daniel J. Pipes (The MEF is a publicly supported, nonprofit organization under section 501(c)3 of the Internal Revenue Code. Contributions are tax deductible to the full extent allowed by law. Tax-ID 23-774-9796, approved Apr. 27, 1998. For more information, view our IRS letter of determination.) |