ultimately, nothing good can come of it

Submitted by chumpita (United States), Feb 28, 2016 at 00:51

I am not sure how many women here on the fence and ignoring their gut instincts about these men are actually dissuaded from pursuing such doomed relationships (delusions). I know I could not have been. There must be an infernal level for those of us who so stubbornly cling to our stupidity. Experience is the teacher of fools. But on the off chance, some woman reading here is wise enough to not have to learn the hard way: let it go. No good can come of it.

I normally hesitate to reveal my shameful stupidity in its full glory, but I have had not one, but TWO of these fundamentally destined-to-fail marriages to men from similar cultural backgrounds (I know, I know.. even I want to slap me!) The second was/is your typical sweet-talking jackass user. The first, however, was more like the rare unicorn of these types of relationships that "have no problems".. until they do!

I was married to my first husband for almost 18 years, we had all the trappings a successful inter-cultural marriage and family. It wasnt great times, but it wasnt all horrible either. He never hit me, he never threatened to take the kids and go, his family embraced me completely. Then after nearly 18 years into our marriage, he informs me of his intention to marry a second wife, a young girl from "back home" he had selected. He asked me to accept it and stay on "for the kids". Needless to say, I lost my sh*t over that and I never imagined afer all those years, seeing other couples like us drop off and fall out,that this was how our story would end. But it did.

So I guess I don't care if you have a man who will cut and run as soon the ink on the port-of-entry stamp is dry or if the man has been married to you for years, almost certainly sooner or later no good will come of it. I realized this all too indefensibly late, and one could argue I got what I deserved for my stupidity. But here you can read the gamut of awful experiences that, while different in details, remain fundamentally the same. Don't be another one in the making.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".