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Four years of a virtual relationship with an EgyptianReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Janna (Serbia), May 8, 2016 at 10:48 It all started when he added me on Facebook. He seemed cute and reserved. His profile was giving impression of a well educated young doctor with high standards, a humane person loving nature and animals, moral and serious. His safari look profile pictures made him seem so attractive. He didn't flirt. We were discussing cultural facts, he noted that he loved our tennis player and I was expressing my will to visit pyramids. Months were passing without any interaction, except him liking my pictures and posts. Until I started going to college and moved to other city by myself. I was just 19 and he was 25. Starting a new life I was clearing my friend list when he wrote. Simple, are you alive? In search of my identity, without any idea of having anything with him, I started to open myself. My thoughts, my fears, my wishes, emptiness in attitudes about some stuff. He seemed to be so fascinated by me, saying he didn't expect so young European girl to be so open-minded and smart. I was a "young flower about to bloom" for him. At first, he sounded so pathetic, but being called his little princess, his kitty (ok, laugh) every night had its impact. Day by day, topics were getting deeper and I started to depend on him. He commented any change on my profile trying to analyze my mental state. I had a boyfriend in my hometown who I didn't see for months. He knew about us, maybe more than he was supposed to. I was so blunt and genuine, asking for objective views from a charming stranger. He was like my personal talking diary. Not that I wasn't aware it was dangerous. I left him many times and he cried for me on camera. He even gave me his Facebook password. Being fallen for him so hard made me forget about my boyfriend. All I was seeing was Egypt, Egyptian, Arab. The prince charming was about to come to visit my country with his company, but was prevented by natural disaster here at that time. According to his words, he quit his job because they didn't let him come. He kept repeating how he was feeling lost. He had a girlfriend who I knew about, but I had a boyfriend too, and this between us seemed special. After him ignoring her for months she left him. His individual visa request was rejected, since he didn't work. No job, no girl, no meeting me. She got married less than a year later. I was sad, trying to lead my life, telling him to move on as well. If it was meant to be it would happen, I was saying. Jealousy got lower, as we were overconfident about each other, until he entered my account and became so mad and emotional. I started to learn Arabic at university and had his support about it. He called me many times a day, cared about my life, my health, family. We watched same romantic movies, he was sending me Sinatra's and Mounir's songs that reminded him of me and wasn't pushy about his religion. He liked the way I think (I am agnostic). I loved how he put accent on family value in society and the fact that he doesn't drink or get involved in temptations. He advised me on how to resolve my issues. We were even discussing people we liked. It seemed like a rational friendship with chemistry. Until we made a deal to meet in Greece 3 years after, when I was about to visit it for a holiday. He promised a 5 star hotel, full meals, all exclusive. Guess what? He didn't come. I spent time there waiting for information about his visa progress. He told me he was at embassy everyday and that he even quarreled with ambassadors. He said he cried the day I got there. I came back to my country seeing no point anymore. Few days later he "got" his Greek visa. I met other guy home and he got so mad and wanted to leave me pointing our cultural differences and how he wasted money on reservation (not sure about it now). Nevertheless, he claimed he would come here in December. I felt so lost, I put the blame on me, cried everyday and even had suicidal thoughts. I opened his Facebook and got surprised by his search and archived messages. He added girls from different counties (does it make him not guilty if it's only 2-3 of them for 3 years?) before. He chatted with one who added him the same way he started with me, complimenting her pictures and using same phrases. But I passed trough it since it was at the beginning of our chats and she was the one who added and ditched him off after few days. It was too late to grieve that and I gave credit to his male ego. He told another one that he would have liked her if they had met in different circumstances, one month before us having to meet. She seemed to respect and like him, but left for some reason (of leading her life). They were both Arabic. He had semi-naked models in his search, which made me confused since he acted he was against that kind of media. It was worst period of my life. I blamed myself for telling him all about me, while he was hiding. On the other side, I was defending him, I wasn't so perfect and I was dating other guys here before. He claims to be a virgin, while I am not. I cried and cried, didn't go to college, planned a way out and he wrote to my sister to take care of me. Once cold and open-minded about this relationship now I became obsessive. Him denying things made me feel even worse, he was making me blind despite the facts. His best argument was - I don't remember I did that. It didn't matter to me, you chatted with other guys too, it was just spreading the views. He was leaving his new work just to talk with me and calm me down. I had psychosomatic symptoms. My hands were shaking every day, I felt pressure in neck, from 65 kg came to 55. I was delusional. I was aware it wasn't normal, but I couldn't do anything about it. I was watching movies about obsessive love and was struck by any love song. He was claiming to have high blood pressure because of me. I didn't want to see my friends, since I didn't wanna seem like a weirdo. I wanted to die. December, January, February, March, April. May. He didn't get visa. I left him few times. Every leave lasted for few weeks till a month. He called me back saying he couldn't do without me and that his life doesn't have same colors when I'm not there, it's boring. He told me he would send me a gift and his shirt with his perfume (I asked for it). Months were passing and nothing was coming. He told me it was a special surprise for Valentine's day. I spent that day crying. Of course it didn't come. Can you imagine, he was asking me whether I got it even though he didn't send it?! He would always find some excuse. Every bad thing that he did was "out his hands". According to his words, he did send it, but he was asked about his intentions and it was taken back. On my request, he sent me airplane ticket, hotel reservation pictures and proof about the package. My actions were so out of control that I posted a status on his behalf on his profile. I commented his pictures from a fake profile in Arabic, calling him a liar and the biggest hypocrite which all his family and friends saw. I wanted him to feel my pain. They knew me as his European friend and he didn't say it was me. He acted even crazier about me and had high sexual drive. I was mad and told him not to call me anymore. He called me last night, asking me to come to Greece or Cyprus, after which I have denied he called me stupid. It was eye-opening. I was never offended by him, I was treated with respect and sweetest words even after seeing others. He called me after, but I didn't answer. He is either so lost or has vicious intentions. He lacks confidence 'cos of his weight, that's what I know. I looked up on him, which could have made him mistrust my judgment. He isn't nearly as perfect as I thought he was, but I tried to love all about him. I still cannot see it clearly, but I cannot allow him to disrespect me. After getting a few good reality slaps I was still trying to be understanding, believing he was the one. Despite being a "respected" pharmacist manager and having big salary he couldn't get one visa for Eastern Europe. Is it about him being a virgin and me having (not so rich) experience? He was jealous about it, but claimed to understand it. Anyway, I've lost much in many fields because of him, despite never seeing him. But worst of all, I have lost my identity. I am sure he will call and write to bring me back to that endless void. I am 23 and he is 29 now. Actions over words. Always. Test him, be wise, don't let him waste your precious time. Time surely passes, it's on our side and brings the resolution with itself. While fishing for his validation, other girls are getting prettier and smarter than the washed out face you produce by sleepless crying nights between walls, wasting potential wondering what he could be doing. Please tell me your opinion about what is going on in his head. He had phases when he wanted to leave due to differences and when he claimed to be daydreaming about our life together. He never asked me for money, visa or anything suspicious. Submitting....
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