Not Always Tho...Use Your Heads Ladies

Submitted by Jordana (United States), Jun 7, 2016 at 04:06

This is really not accurate; to paint all (or even the majority of Muslim/MENA guys with the same broad brush would mean a lot of GOOD guys-and I mean, good guys, would get overlooked. There's a great many white/American guys who are EVERY bit the scammers that these MENA guys are, and some even more so. It's just that Bc they are more numerous in the west, it's easier to see the good and not lose all hope Bc of the few bad seeds.

The problem seems to be, more than anything else, the failure of many women to remain grounded and see things objectively, and to know their value before ever considering having a man in her life. Too many women hang onto guys Bc they think magically a real commitment with grow in time when there isn't even a seed planted in the first place. They give trust before it's been earned and don't realize that the right guy will stop at nothing to prove his authenticity and will be available to u 24/7 and u won't find yourself questioning his motives and feeling doubt.

I am a Syrian/Palestinian-American, and I am married to an Egyptian Muslim and I happened to meet my husband in a FB group; he is quite honestly amazing, beautiful, smart, a great provider a wonderful father, and from a well respected family in Cairo. He is none of the things my ex husband who is American, was.

I will tell you right now tho and don't EVER go against this advice/policy: if a MENA guy will ask you for money for ANYTHING (any amount, or even accept it if you offer to pitch in for food/gifts whatever), he's a user and u can be certain he has selfish motivations. Bc a MENA man would give his left ball before he'd be caught dead letting a woman provide for him, and secondly, to not be able to provide generously for your woman is a huge failure and Shame in that culture. This applies from the moment you meet him, and do not think in any way this man comes with the same instructions as a western man-he doesn't, it's totally different system, and u have to adhere to it or prepare urself for potential heattbreak.

Secondly if he will have sex with you-any kind of sex at all, including phone and chat-he will never marry you. No matter what he says, and no matter how long u think you've waited and how sure u feel about his sincerity. No MENA man will marry a woman he's had sex with, and u would be best served to put up ur sexual stop sign and refuse any nude pictures, any touching etc. a good, decent and honoreabke MENA guy will see ur modesty and values as exceedingly admirable and attractive. He will have respect for a beautiful woman who doesn't compromise her values for even the man she is crazy about.

He will also make a point at some juncture after things feel romantic to make some sort of contact with a senior member of ur family such as a brother mom or dad. This could just mean saying hello to them for him, or him knowing that they know about him and that he's not afraid of them and potentially being responsible for u. And he will tell his own parents of u, and the truth too-many people believe that in MENA culture, if the parents don't approve of u, that he may have to ease into telling them about u/the nature of ur relationship/the same future intentions he has told u.

This is also not true-middle eastern is very much like that for GIRLS (I know double stupid standard) but sons/brothers are the princes of the family and kings of the castle once they are grown, they can choose their own wife, the family may not approve but will never express it openly to him or u, as that would be incredibly uncouth and could lead to being estranged from their son (and provider and caretaker for them in their old age/retirement).

The belief is that daughters marry and become bound to their husbands family name, and parents receive a dowry for a beautiful smart and reputable daughter-in contrast, they save all their years to be able to provide a sizable dowry and comfortable start for their sons and their future brides to be, and sons are expected to take their fathers role and responsibility on in adulthood. Thus, most parents and especially true if he's the only son, will be highly unlikely to outwardly disprove of their sons judgement and choice in marriage, unless of course you actually ARE the stereotypical western woman that they fear so much.

If u act and dress revealing and have highly westernized social habits, or if U have children from an unmarried relationship, don't have and practice a religion faithfully (could be any faith but just Muslim, they are most concerned with ur commitment to it and it's importance jn your life, if u are not comfortable with covering up, learning Arabic, wearing hijab occasionally, fasting for ramaadan with ur love jnterest, and committed to learning and accepting his culture and family and friends, u may find that MENA guys are not for u, in perfect honesty. U don't see Hijabi muslimahs pursuing the stereotypical American bad boys-and not Bc there aren't any sexy ones, it's just Bc those women know that is not going to jibe with their ideal relationship and expectations.

My husband is well educated, was a Virgin at age 28, paid my way even on my first visit to Egypt, and proposed after getting my fathers blessing, his family loves me and even tho they never disapproved, after they met me they said i wasn't what they expected (in a good way) Bc I didn't look or behave like many of the Amrrican women jn egypt do. Even at the ministry of Justice where we filed our marriage papers the man laughed out loud when he saw that my husband was marrying a foreign Christian that was his same age, and rather nice looking-that is the first he's seen of that in many months he said laughing.

At the us embassy the consular staff who processed my paperwork called me from the waiting area and looked at me, then stuttered that he was expecting me to be older, then apologized and said he didn't know why he would have thought that. (If that doesn't tell u anything I don't know what will-they are used to seeing American women act a fool for their sexy Egyptian poolboy, and I saw myself many prospective/newlywed western women with young low class Egyptian men at the us embassy-it was obvious as hell to anyone that knows. Always the woman is old enough to be his babysitter if not his mother, she is newly converted to Islam and wearing a hijab messily with safety pins in some self taught way, acting subservient and unnacustimed to it, and egy boy has on the best latest kicks and clothes, good looking normally but with janky teeth, and still clearly from the lower class/poor English skills.

Just some advice from someone who knows and who knows the way these men play, many of them are my guy friends, 3 of the good ones that exist are my brothers, so the advise I give is sound and well intended.

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