My only value was a green card - That is how I escaped honor killing and the Middle East

Submitted by Chelsea (United States), Sep 3, 2016 at 15:54

Everyday I count my blessings, even though I have been emotionally, spiritually, financially damaged and now on medication for depression. Everyday I cherish the freedom I have as a woman in a free land. Everyday I am thankful to God that I am in the United States of America. Also everyday, I count it all joy as a woman I am considered an equal human being under the laws of the United States.

There is a saying that "Love Is Blind" and that was absolutely the case for me. On June 29, 2014, I boarded a plane bound for the Middle East to the country of Jordan.

I was aware that the Middle East was at war, did not know about the forming of the Caliphate on that day. All I knew was that I was going to be married and live my life with the one whom I believed to love me and to cherish me and be by my side all the days of my life as a husband until death do us part. However, that was not the case and never did I know that this journey would take me through a pain and also an education I never imagined I would experience in this life. The pain and denial about the truth that my only value was that I was a conduit to a better life...nothing more than a green card which would gain him, at my expense, if I had continued the process. He would have gained permanent residence in the United States and possibly his whole family.

Ladies .... hear this story and be warned.

It all began in October 2013. Someone I had friended a man from overseas on Facebook at some point during my Facebook Association and one day he messaged me and said he would have to delete me from his friends list. An apology was made and I thought not much about it. I responded with that's okay and God bless you. I had never dated online or even chatted, but I had my chat on when this message came through because I was working on promoting a benefit for a child with cancer and I was selling tickets. Also I had befriended people from all over the world to become my friends for the purpose of promoting a prophecy page that was birthed in 2009 and now it is all over the world. I think that may have been how he became a friend of mine on Facebook.

The story deepens ... In 2010 I was abandoned by my then husband and divorced. He had lost his 80,000 dollar job and he left me the next day. It was a very hard climb back to where I am now, losing everything, having to live with roommates to survive and feeling a great sense of abandonment from family, friends and even my church. This left me very vulnerable. This left me hurt and lonely. I lost my credit and had to live with people I did not know. I also had to go back to work while disabled in the year 2000. But that is another story. This is to tell you how I escaped the Middle
East and how different the culture is and what we do not understand about it. This is something I have experienced personally and I really need you to know that what you read, what you hear about it is very real and dangerous to our culture and vulnerable women such as me. The cultures are so different...it is like visiting another planet.

As I stated, I began chatting with Saadeh in October of 2013 after I had been rescued from actually getting so low on life, I was living in a tent in a campground. My best friends parents took me to their home and even though I was paying them every month....her mother asked me if I would like to soak in their tub off of the master bedroom. I only had a shower from the room I was staying in. She did not give me the dignity of privacy while I was undressing to enter the bath and I was told after I finished the bath and was trying to pull the stopper up, she yelled that I have to stay in the tub until she said I could get out. I thought to myself....absolutely NOT!! I punched the stopper and the water began to drain and I proceeded to get myself out from the tub which she had to come in again and watch me dress. This only added to my vulnerability. So I was at an all time low in my life.

I then went back through my messages and reread Saadeh's message and I looked at his page and I saw Petra. Being a student of Biblical prophecy, I know that Petra is believed to play a major role in the end times and I messaged him back and asked him about Jordan and discovered that he was in tourism and he offered to take me through a virtual journey of the Holy Sites in Jordan and explain to me the history backing them.

He started pushing me at the very beginning ...then it grew to love bombing. I used to post my feelings on Facebook and I believe I was targeted as vulnerable. And I was. Every unmet emotional need and hurt he addressed with lovely assuring words of comfort. About how he wanted to care for me. That no one cared for me. He loved everything about me. Soon he got me to Skype and then Viber. He was telling me everything I needed to hear. Oh how wonderful I felt that someone finally loved me and also was a God fearing man, and I was trusting that we built our wonderful heart to heart relationship on God. He told me he was Christian, but his actions were so much Muslim. I met his family via Skype after I accepted his proposal for marriage. I was in bliss. We planned marriage. I started working toward fulfilling what I thought was both of our dreams months before I went overseas.

He got me the ticket and I had planned to stay with him over there. I had marked what few possessions I had remaining here in the states for a couple of friends to collect. I drove my truck to the airport and left it for my son to pick up at a later date.

I had taken my own wedding dress....being married before, ceremony was not that important to me. I was forced to wear the dress that was in all the pictures I did not know were even being taken.

I stayed with his sister before the wedding...we were not to have any contact physically before our marriage but we failed one night and you know the rest. His sister was living with a Muslim man and he told Saadeh's sister. That night after she had dressed me up, did my makeup and hair, all the while hugging me was planning something real nice for me.

That night the Muslim man, his sister and his sister's son along with Saadeh and me were taken on a ride to the other side of Amman Jordan under the pretense of getting soda. It was around 11pm in the evening. All the men sat in the car and his sister took me out on the streets and was singing while holding my hand and trying to sling me out into the traffic of Amman. I pulled my hand away...headed back to the car and she grabbed me again and wanted me to sit with her on a bench outside the car that night. I said NO. I walked back to the car, all the time refusing to let her grab me again and I looked inside and Saadeh had his face in his hands weeping. I got back into the car and said I am not a streetwalker to take me home. I did not understand all of this danger. We never did get soda. But this is the way you get rid of an American woman who shames a Jordanian family.

Still asleep in my brain...I told Saadeh we must get away from his sisters house, but ended renting a small place right next door. The Muslim man was watching me I found out later. Saadeh was coming everyday to get me. He knew what they were doing and he was afraid of what American preachers and people over here might think o him if something happened to me. The American preachers were also immigrants to America from Amman Jordan and they had opened churches in America and were sending pictures of single women to Saadeh from their congregation here overseas to Saadeh. Tell me......is this not wrong? They think not.....but to us it is nothing short of human trafficking.

I married the next week. We finally ended staying at the office. The woman who was working with him....wasn't having me in the office. She complained constantly behind our backs. But actually the truth be known....at that time I did not realize that it was up to Saadeh to stand for his wife, her wishes...not the families, not the co-workers.....and believe me....the sisters and brother after we married were looking in bedroom window calling our names while we were consumating our marriage. I had asked him to get them to back off....that is was disrespectful and I knew they all had cell phones. One day I had enough, and just threw a blanket on me and walked outside naked and told them to back off while he hid in a bathroom which was actually like a closet with a hole in the floor. Now mind you...I never complained about any of that. I loved this man. I loved this man enough to sacrifice my life to live in Jordan as his wife and none of the other inconveniences were important.

He did take me to the Dead Sea, Petra, and Mount Nebo....all the while we were spied on.....it was supposed to be our honeymoon. But after we got back....tensions were so rough.....because he had lied about us going on our own when we were offered a honeymoon by his boss to Shar Ma Cha....or ever how you spell it. But it seemed that he was different to me as well and I heard in my heart that I needed to leave and leave then. I called Royal Jordanian and got my ticket. I did not even know that he, being my husband under Sharia could have held me there. But what was in it for him to keep me? My worth was to come back to America and he was to join me. I know nothing of immigration. I came back. Saadeh told me that if I would come back to America...it would take only 2 months and he would be with me. We only had 2 weeks of marriage. And I trusted him.

But when he transferred all his pictured from the phone to my laptop......umm.....lets just say that the pictures he thought he had deleted of the women he was having online relationships with....transferred to my computer. And I got to look at all of them nasty women flying over the Atlantic Ocean and they were right in there with my wedding pictures...and my computer breaks it down by dates....so no matter how hard he tried to lie about it.....it was right there.

But silly me...I forgave...I said what is two months? It was over 2 years and about $4000 later that I finally got my denial phase over with. His application was approved and he was waiting for his visa interview. All the while I was hurting in my gut.....because I had to support him for 2 more years and possibly be responsible for him for up to 10 years and I was much older than he, plus being disabled, and also my trust was absolutely shattered....especially when we had agreed to shut all doors online...protect our marriage...close all social media. And I held up my end of the bargain and I looked at the whatsapp icon on my computer and remembered seeing that app on his phone...so I downloaded and he had been viewed that very evening. And he also had a picture of himself that I had never seen with his Keffeyah on his wedding ring glaring, and a USA training T-shirt on. I confronted him. I mean I was cleaning houses, doing paperwork, spending money and only getting a couple of hours on Skype with him a day after everyone else left his work. Then I was left to cry alone every night. So that kinda really woke me up. Did I really want to be responsible for someone who could not give me an ounce of fidelity, shattered my trust...and even his crazy sister found me over here and messaged me. I don't know how that happened. But it was never ending.....torturing me with our love photos from Jordan that were 2 years old.....emotionally draining. It was him or me. I ran to the attorney ....I told him...I don't care what you have to do but get me out of this.

I was able to pull my affidavits of support from the US Embassy in Jordan just in time....thank the Good Lord, who was allowing my stomach to hurt so to get me to stop it. It had to end. But it didn't. I had closed down everything but Skype. I left it open because he started stalking me on facebook....hittting up my friends pretending to be me....using 2 year old photographs. I had opened my Facebook back up after finding him online for company. But here we are friends and we are not looking for online relationships....just company, news, entertainment, pictures of kids. I was accused of everything. I have not been with anyone. But I am recovering slowly. I guess that is what they do over there. They go into online relationships looking for women like us.

And that is my story....it has been almost 3 years now that I have seen him. I blocked him from my Skype and I put my privacy settings on Facebook. Not a real Facebook fan anymore. And as far as him stalking me now.....I say let the cards fall where they may. I am not changing anything else about me for him.

Ladies....I studied the culture....also studied Narcissistic Sociopathic Disorder and I believe that he was a number one sicko. My regret is not losing the money....I regret losing precious years from my life and having myself so devalued when there may have been someone here that would have really cherished and respected what I had to give

. My heart breaks for all of you. Much Love...Chelsea

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