Hi Deirdre

Submitted by Freebird (United Kingdom), Oct 16, 2018 at 17:54

Thank you so much Deirdre for your kind words Tbh I have been reading here for few years now, call it womans intuition but I just felt uneasy and had a gut feeling for a while. I put it down to me being insecure because my first marriage my husband basically led a double life for 7 years, ! And I didn't want my insecurities to destroy my second marriage, but something never felt right for some time. I gave it my all and wanted this marriage to work, I honestly do now believe he worked hard on me from start. He knew I was vulnerable and as much as I told him I was not interested, he relentlessly pursued me over months. He knew he would eventually lure me into his trap. In saying that I did carefully pick his brain slowly over some time and ask specific questions that I needed answers to, like where would he prefer to live etc, to see what his response was but he always knew what to say so as not to raise any suspicion in me. He wasted over 6 years of my life and I'm trying not to let this destroy my trust for any future relationship I may have, but after what I've been through, honestly it's gonna be hard to trust again.. he does come from a lovely decent family and they have no money issues at all, lovely large home in good area, but I do know he did not prepare himself for marriage and he would need money upfront to show his Moroccan brides father that he is financially stable to provide for her, so I guess he had a ready made life to walk into with me, it was easy for him, as I have a lovely flat here and I moved to this area that's very multicultural for him to integrate into society, I.e mosques halal shops you know what I'm saying, he had it easy marrying me, if only he got his visa lol ! I was giving it one last shot after his 2 visa refusals as I knew it better for him to join me rather than me join him as my country looks after its citizens better, so I had seen an immigration lawyer at one last shot...but my gut instinct told me to try and find out anything else I could on him before I did, thank god I did...he tried his best to hide his identity by using an arabic spelling for his name on social dating website looking to ' date ' girls...and covered his head with a scarf ! But I knew it,was him, and I monitored him on it for 6 weeks as I could see when he was online ! And I snared him with timing etc...so that told me it was him for 6 long agonising weeks ..of course he denied it but you know your partners face don't you ? The lies that were to follow sickened me so much as he truly showed what he's capable of, also making a video with his hand on koran lying to me ! This proves ...never trust a muslim, as their permitted to lie to their wife to save their marriage ! I know CRAZY not to be trusted ...so I knew then no way could this marriage be saved it was irreparable...the pain was awful, I couldn't eat focus or sleep for a while, but I am recovering slowly but surely and don't feel as bad as I did, so time truly is the healer. Honestly now....I have CLOSURE I actually don't even like him anymore my feelings have gone and I keep saying to myself .." you asked God in your prayers to show you if he's untrue " so my prayers have been answered and I'm so glad sooner than later ..he's damaged my trust and wasted my time, but I feel stronger than ever and I'm optimistic and excited what God has in store for me ...so it's onwards and upwards from now ...Thank you for taking time to message me Deirdre and I'm grateful to all you ladies for your time spent over the years to warn us and help us, because it opened my eyes and made me more cautious and thus why I was more prepared for what has happened to me now. I will also continue to stay here so i can also help others that are suffering and need advice, the more we help the better, karma is what's in store for those guys may their ALLAH punish them ! Take care lovely ladies ...Thank you all

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