Hello all

Submitted by Freebird (United Kingdom), Jan 30, 2019 at 06:14

Hey everyone I've not been on for weeks ..how you all doing ? ...Me ? I was in a very bad place as most of you are aware of back in September..I have been through heartache before with first husband living a double life for 7 years ! Yep you read right..so long story short ...ladies and gents I have yet again had to find the strength to haul myself back from the brink of death...no joke..when you love hard with all you got..and your deceived and hurt so much it takes you to that horrendous black place...well I've been there twice now...second time which was with muslim husband who I did all for ..moved to a location for him to integrate into society ..furnished I shall say OUR flat which I seen it of back then..remained loyal for the length of time..all in after marriage over 3 yrs I left him in September..come may that would have been 4 yrs..I had patience trust faith that all would work and fall into place for us..he was refused visa twice as most of you aware..so my choice was to walk away which I was not prepared to do or try make it work in Morocco ...he stalled...wasted more time...said he didn't have enough money to put a deposit on apartment..I refused to live with his family..more stalling...I gave him an ultimatum..i have done all I could here..now it's your turn to try provide a home for us both there..ultimatum was 6 more months or I'm out...but in meantime I thought its really best for him to come here as I have couple health issues I'm not fit to work full time and he would need to provide for us both there which he kept discussing how difficult it is..yes I can read your mind now..red flags but by this time been with him yrs married for some time...was not about to just give up after all that..so I thought give it one last shot....found good immigration lawyer...discussed what we could do to get him here ...went home feeling positive...decided ...before I do this as I had that gut feeling..you know what I mean ..went onto sites that I knew he was on when we met...now I would like to add that people should always Google a person when together..I mean in long distance relationships ..I did in past and he knew this...this time I googled him again as I did over the years nothing was coming up as he knew if I googled his right name I would find him..so...I decided I would find the patience to sit all afternoon and go through websites I knew he was on yrs ago...badoo, hi5, Facebook, instagram, there were several more..and yes that tells you he was looking for someone from different country ...another lesson learnt...anyway back to recently..I decided to stick it out and search search search...it paid off...there he was in badoo, tried to alter his Identity..scarf around head different glasses etc..NAME WAS IN ARABIC . .thus why I couldn't easily find him..I knew it was him...he had created this profile, area was his, age, languages he could speak, what was he looking for on this website ? To DATE women between age of 18-50...so..to be sure for 6 long agonising weeks I snared him...on the website it has a green dot next to name when online...yellow when recently online..I caught him out several times with timing..I would see he was on badoo..I would msg him from Whatsapp..he would immediately come off badoo and come on Whatsapp to talk to me then back on badoo when done...long story short he denied it all still does..I knew it was him oh and yes a week after being caught he closed the account ! ..I told him I'm applying for a divorce and I can never trust you...ladies and gents he still msgs me on occasion to 'hang in there' cos he knows he has until next September before divorce proceedings start as its a year long seperation divorce...my mind is made up..I'm strong very much so after all I've been through with 2 men over so many years now..I had to receive counselling before Xmas ..and the counsellor was so proud of how I came through it all that she wept for me...I'm happy again which months ago I could never see happen..I was in a bad bad place...but I'm ok now..getting stronger all the time..i am pushing myself all the time to get out and see friends have fun go little holidays when able and see that life is worth living and that I AM A GOOD PERSON WORTH LOVING and I WILL find that decent man for me...life is short LIVE IT GUYS ...don't let others destroy your self esteem and your pride etc...DONT ALLOW IT ...good luck and thank you to anyone who reads any of my posts and responds to me...take care of YOU xxx

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