Don't do it - think of yourself and the baby :(

Submitted by Robin (United States), Aug 2, 2019 at 16:29

Didi, I just now read your post. Really, I understand your feelings 100 percent. I still sometimes second guess myself, even though the relationship with my husband has been over since the end of March. I think, Maybe I was wrong to doubt him. Maybe I should have accepted all of his excuses and explanations. I forget about all of the times he was nasty to me or gave me the silent treatment, for the most ridiculous things. And the fact that he never did ANYTHING for me that involved his money during the more than two years after we married. EVERYTHING was at my expense: my travel expenses to see him, housing, food, transportation, as well as all of the costs associated with the immigration process. Supposedly, everything was going to change when he got to the U.S. The only way that ever would have happened would have been even further at my expense. I gave him every opportunity to try and work things out, but he stopped communicating without a backwards glance. Meanwhile, he was doing whatever he wanted, and boy, did he do a lot. I'll never know the full extent of his transgressions, but what I do know is sickening. He was screwing all kinds of women, and even men, for all I know. I never meant a thing to him beyond being a means to the U.S. It makes me wonder what he felt when having sex with me, but men don't need to love, or even like, a woman to have sex with her. I wonder how many times he laughed at me behind my back, and called me a stupid, gullible American woman, who ate out of the palm of his hand and kissed his ass. He did it, and I know he did it. This is what I have to live with.

Please don't give yourself over to that man. No matter how much you love him, he will never love you the same way. He certainly will never treat you with respect. Think about all of the women on this board who have posted over the years, repeatedly. We all wish we hadn't gotten involved with these pricks. I know I wish it, every single day. He broke my heart. I have disposed of everything from my trips to visit him, and deleted all the photos. I consider it a waste of almost three years of my life, a time during which I thought he would be the rest of my life. The really sad thing is that I still cry over him every single day. I don't understand how someone could be so evil. I don't understand how I could love someone so much, who never loved me. I feel like an idiot. Don't be an idiot, Didi.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".