Lou, I understand about cutting contact

Submitted by Keira (Australia), Aug 21, 2019 at 16:50

It took me a lot to do it because like you, I was scared that he could do something to me. Although he always was sweet to me, when he got angry, he always revealed his true colours. And all I could see was a person full of rage. They are never wrong. They always twist things so even when they are at fault, they do make you believe you are the reason of the fight, the problem or whatever you're discussing.

About hurting himself, it's just another mean to manipulate you. They use it a lot. If he hurts himself, it's his choice. You just want to have peace of mind. He won't dare to go so far, but if he does, it's his problem. Not yours anymore.

The point of no cutting off communication entails that he will keep thinking that you're there for him to keep using you, manipulating you and eventually, getting what he really wants.

I would suggest you to protect yourself the best way you can. Here you will find lots of posters recommending what they did to protect themselves. Moving out if possible to another location, changing your clothing, hairstyle and routines... Even take some self defense lessons. Attend to a support group for victims of abuse. Nurture yourself with love. You will quickly see that your identity blossoms... and you'll be in love with you again and you won't think of this rat anymore....oh. if possible, try to live as close as you can to your family or friends. Phone always in hand to call the police. I dont know, but I'm sure that if you disappear for him, there will be a point when he abandons... Also, keeping in mind his record, it shouldn't be very tricky to get a restraining order???

Keep us updated please. Here you'll find all the support you need... until I decided to post, I had been reading this board for a year... And only doing this helps a lot to keeping strong. We need to be very very strong because they are like a drug and once you fall, it is wo difficult to get out... But we can! Now I'm here to help too and remain strong.

Stay in touch!

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