Thank you Lana, I needed to hear this..

Submitted by Didi (Italy), Aug 21, 2019 at 17:04

I've been absent awhile. I'll admit, I traveled and saw him recently. I didn't go just to meet him, I needed to clear my head and really put an end to all the emotions. He evidently got some "advice" from his buddies that there are German lawyers who will help you get residency because of your baby. So this idiot goes to an attorney and explains that I'm trying to keep his child from him and that he needs German residence to prevent this.

I get some bs letter by email from an attorney as a first attempt at contact about me needing to submit to a DNA test if I'm denying paternity. And if paternity is established, then visitation is customary. I laughed and thought about ignoring it, but decided to give the attorney a call. I comically let him know he was wasting his time, I'm an American citizen, was only in Germany on a temp visa and have since returned to my own country. The lawyer was confused and thought I was in Germany. Explains why he kept trying to get me to return to Germany.

So I contacted him and said nice try with the attorney. But a German attorney has no jurisdiction in the US. He of course started whining about how he'd do anything to get me and his baby back. That he didn't even care about staying in Germany or the US. He'd go back to Morocco if that's what I wanted. We'd be poor, but we'd be a family. And I could start studying Islam. I laughed and said stop your bs!

I laid into him, and not once did I back down. I looked in right in his eyes and told him I knew it all. I'd read how their games work thanks to this site (I didn't give the name, don't want them lurking). I told him he ought to be ashamed of himself to try to use an innocent baby, his own flesh and blood for residency. I told him there's not a GOD in the entire universe that would condone that regardless of if I'm Muslim or not. I pulled out the picture the doc gave me of our daughter and told him he was lower than the bugs on the ground for creating this precious life, whose Mama might be an infidel, but whose blood was his blood, and not really loving her. Just seeing her as a means to an end. Knowing that she is somehow less because her Mama happens to be "a dirty American" who loved him despite him having nothing to give, helped in ways his own muslim family wouldn't, and giving him the benefit of the doubt.

My words cut deep... I've never seen that kind of look in his eyes when I told him after today, anything he ever meant to me was dead. He was just like any other stranger on the street. Because this little girl will be my focus, she will be loved beyond belief. And instead of having her daddy there to hold her and make her feel loved and safe, she'll have me because her daddy is only focused on his duty to his Moroccan family.

He apologized, I actually believed him. He said he did this all because of his family's pressure to get European residency and help the whole family migrate. He said he feels so pressured by them, but he genuinely wishes he could be with me and our daughter. He says he's wanted kids so long. He told his family I would never marry him, they brushed it off and said, well search for a German girl or Austrian girl, those are the best countries to get permanent residence. He said they don't even care that I'll never see my baby! He said Allah would punish him if he disobeyed his mother, so he will do what must be done. He asked if I'd still name her the name he'd chosen and send him pictures of her. I said I don't know, I'll think about it. He hung his head; at that point I needed to leave before I gave in to him. I held it together until I got back to my hotel room, then I wept for a good hour. But a huge weight was lifted! I don't hate him, I think a part of me will always love him, especially when I look at my little princess. But he took from me what I can never get back.

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