To Feeling Used and Dumb (but you are not!)

Submitted by Hope (United Kingdom), Aug 27, 2019 at 14:59

I feel so for you and to be honest like the others do not know what to say - really! 15 years!!!!!! It beggars belief what these sh**s do - they do not realise what heartbreak they cause and what devastation they leave behind. Or maybe they do BUT they just do not give a damn. You have to feel sorry for them because what sort of life do they lead - do or can they love, how do they go about lying and deceiving on a daily basis - does it ever catch up on them, do they reflect ever on what they have done? Their lives must be so stressful trying to keep up with their deceit, lies........ Questions we all ask after our own experiences and on reading others stories on here - as in life there is always someone better or worse off than yourself / ourselves. I truly understand how you must feel used both mentally and probably physically, it is awful. You question and analyse everything and then do not trust your own judgement - you think it is you but it is not. It is them. We think some of them are genuine but they are few and far between and do know that they truly deserve oscars for how they perform, lead double lives, father children etc whilst married to us........the list goes on. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. As someone else commented they are like children - they are idolised from birth and expect everyone to fall at their feet or obey the pathetic rules that Islam preaches. Isn't it supposed to be a religion of peace..............They are evil users, narcissists, sociopaths, you are right - mine walked away at a train station - but only after 4 years after securing ILR. I knew he was going for good that day which is why I did not drive him to the airport, he could not look me in they eye, barely kissed me goodbye and walked away without even looking back. These people are not right, be thankful we are not like them but now my love you have to concentrate on you and look after no. 1. It is going to be very hard but if he has gone he has followed his family which they mostly all do, they do not lead any sort of an independent life away from their family, they are not men but most of all they are not FREE. I always said to my ex that apart from going to the toilet and sex the family knew everything about me / our life. Honesty and integrity is everything and without that what is there? He will come back at some stage, they normally do but it might take a while. Mine did and they still lie and try and bullsh*t to get what they want - but then you will be wiser and realise what a child he is, probably pity him. You have a long way to go before you reach this stage but we are all here to help, answer questions and support you. One day you will recover, please believe me - I thought I never would but you know what I now know I had a lucky escape. I am glad he has gone and I know my life is better than his - maybe KARMA has kicked in. Take care, do not be hard on yourself (at the moment you are probably in shock and not even started on that rollercoaster) and finally you are not dumb - he / they are not normal. Best wishes.

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