Sorry, Mona

Submitted by Robin (United States), Sep 4, 2019 at 16:54

Thank you for adding your post. I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad you were able to get out before things went any further. As far as the whole "ownership" thing, yes, the men consider women property, especially once they have married them. My husband seemed very kind and considerate until I returned home to the U.S. after marrying him. After that, I was just a hassle to him. I didn't want to believe that someone who could be so kind could actually be a terrible human being. At the time, because he hadn't alienated our mutual female friend yet, I thought I was just being overly sensitive or paranoid. Once she got a taste of his real character, she struck him out of her life without even a "kiss my ass." I thought it was pretty hilarious later, because he had used her to draw me in, and they had been friends since high school. He hated that she and I were still friends, and would get very angry that I still talked to her. She feels badly for me now, because she really had no idea as to his true intentions. She had made him promise he wasn't just marrying me to take advantage of me, because she was helping him through the marriage process and knew that a lot of the guys in Morocco marry Westerners just to get their "papers" to a better country.

I am very glad the immigration officer at the embassy saw through my husband at his visa interview. At the time, I was devastated, because they wouldn't give me any specifics as to why his visa was denied, and I had jumped through so many hoops to get him there. It wasn't until almost a year later that I got a letter from Immigration and Citizenship Services outlining all of the problems during the interview. I think he believed that all he had to do was marry me, and I would do everything else to get him to the U.S. Unfortunately for him, I couldn't do everything for him. He messed up the one thing he had to do, which was the interview. He had one job! He really proved how little I and the marriage meant to him by not even being able to answer the most basic of questions about me, and hadn't even bothered to try to learn English. For some reason he thought he would be able to do the interview in French or Arabic, but the officer they assigned to him only spoke English. At the time, I thought this was unfair, but in hindsight, of course they wanted him to be able to speak English. What an idiot! He should have researched this, asked me every little detail about myself, but he didn't think he should have to exert himself. He actually complained later about having to pay to take an English class! What a spoiled, entitled baby. I even called him that once. He would whine about how hard life was in Morocco, but hell, he had his mother and sister to cook, clean and do his laundry for him. He didn't have to account to anyone for his whereabouts. He may have "worked" longer hours than he would have in the U.S., and gotten paid a lot less, but the cost of living there is so much less than here. Also, I don't know of any job here that lets you take naps on the clock! I'm sure he wouldn't have been happy to arrive here and discover he actually had to work for a living. He probably expected to be able to sponge off of me, what with owning my own home and vehicle, but I am far from wealthy. Anyway, consider yourself blessed to have dodged a bullet. What losers these guys are. :(

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