I need help

Submitted by Help with Ahmed (United States), Nov 21, 2019 at 19:25

I'm a 26 year old female. I recently joined an app to get a pen pal... or 20. I used to have some people in the UK I'd Skype with in high school and we lost touch and I missed it, I googled how to get back into it and discovered an app a lot of people seem to use. Had great reviews. So I download it. I send out a letter that goes out to everyone on. I got several replies but one that stood out was...... Ahmed. He's in Alexandria Egypt. We really seem to hit it off. We talked about LGBTQ issues (yes he was vocal that he doesn't wish them to be treated differently but that it is his views that he doesn't like it) I include that because I don't want it to sound like he just agrees with whatever I say, he doesn't. Anyways we talked about the differences in our cultures, western women, Egyptian women, relationships, family just everything. We did flirt a lot and we took it pretty far and it's been like a week now almost. We text all day long, he stays up to talk to me, sends me videos of him with his nieces and nephews. He's 28. I'm not an ugly girl but I'm not Kate Upton either. He's about average too. He's not some dark skinned model but I think he is cute. He isn't pushing hard on marriage so I'm confused. I don't think that he's using me necessarily. We both expressed like wanting to see if we can see each other and maybe make it work. I said I want him to come here first.

He said he had an American girlfriend and told me they did have sex. He claims she was his first. But I read something that said never to believe them if they say they're a virgin and to me one partner is kind of like saying that. I mean it's not but.... I feel like you say that to relate that yes you've done it but it's so small of a number that he'd seem conservative. Which I know they supposedly are.

I don't know. Reading all of yall's stories freaks me out. Do I just jump ship? We really like talking to each other and he does say he likes me etc but I don't feel like he's done a lot of the tactics that online articles say happens when they try to con you. And he doesn't harp on me. Like we just had a conversation and we talked about both of us trying to find a good person to be with.......... and it was very clear we weren't speaking of each other. I mentioned to him that I was so stressed about the distance and stuff (just mostly because of my family. They will judge me so harshly- and I have a daughter. I don't need preaching on that, I'm smart and I won't throw her into this) anyway, yeah I could afford to go there to see him but I'd have to TELL all of them about him and I'm not doing that until I've met him. if he came here, we met and it went well THENNNNN I would tell them and go off to see him and not care. But I'm not flying across the world for a man I haven't met. If he wants to see me bad enough, he'll come here. He didn't say no. He said he'll try and make it happen. But I've expressed reluctance and my lack of faith about it and he seems to be backing off a bit and I feel like the fact he isn't pushing me or sweet talking me harder is a good thing??

I really wanna see where this goes but y'all are scaring me. Even though we're the same age. It doesn't always matter I see. What should I do? What should I look for? Please help me

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