Gut feeling

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Jan 23, 2020 at 04:32

You can't ignore that gut feeling, Tracey, and I'm already sensing the pair of you might knock heads if he did move here. The culture is completely different, and even though they usually blend in quite well once they're here - the traditional views are always there. Also realise that a lot of the time they can't refuse arranged marriages, or else they might be disowned. Kurds are very independent so they hate this, and hate being told what to do. So they might go through with the marriage for honours' sake and resent it anyway.

Him raising his fist is a no no, but remember he comes from a culture where women have less rights. They do view women as property. Thankfully my relationship never got to that stage but he did smash my phone, so who knows what might've followed.

I can see why you've fallen for him - I'm sure he's quite manly and handsome, and in the exotic setting of Turkey. If you let go it will be very difficult because you've been communicating with him daily, and it becomes like a habit. What I did was I broke the habit by communicating less... changing my routine... and getting out and doing more.

If you do decide to stick with him, ask him what his plans are:- if he wants to come to the U.K. how does he plan on coming and living here. And if he wants to marry, then where and will you get a proper ceremony? Does he know anyone else in the U.K.?

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