To Tracey Re: Kurdish Man

Submitted by Jordana Ghannam-Ahmed (United States), Jan 28, 2020 at 21:54

Often it is difficult to ascertain the true socioeconomic status of someone from another country and another culture bc people prioritize and spend their money quite differently, have different "standards" of living (i.e. in Egypt there is essentially no middle class like you might expect in the USA; or Syria-the current civil war aside-is more agricultural and rural in much of the country, even the wealthy may live very similarly to the poor to an untrained observer) and the economy and value of currency in another country has to be taken into consideration. Don't assume based on what you just said that they have money. It's normal in MENA families for extended families to live together and loan and cooperate money for the whole family's benefit in some cases. Also, even the poorest MENA couples with have extremely lavish weddings by western standards; the importance placed on marriage and the wedding outweighs the financial burden of a wedding. It's not unusual for people to save for their sons weddings their entire life if they are not very well off, and even for the upper middle class, engagements can run very long due to all the financial obligations related to the large and extravagant wedding parties etc. Circ parties I'm not familiar with as we don't have them where I'm from but turkey is well known for them. If you want my honest advice, I hate to always have to be the harbinger of bad news and I'm all for true love and whatnot BUT..... I'd tell you if you were my friend GTFO out of this "relationship" ASAP, don't even contemplate it further, you'd be wasting your time. the possibility that he is Mr. Right and meant to be is astronomically low; althihght from what I've read (I'm trying to keep up and keep straight your previous posts) he's def not done the WORST things ive heard before, but at the same time there is plenty of things missing that he SHOULD have done/been doing if his intentions were truly good ones. It's not a secret to the MENA men that they have a large segment of their populous running amok and laying waste to the hearts of western women-its WELL known to them more so than anyone, and so the good ones by nature do not want to be associated or suspected falsely of any kind of untoward intentions and they will go above and beyond to SHOW those true intentions (by actions now NOT just words, any one can talk a good game if they want something) and to be frank, those situations, genuine and compatible, organically developed, relationships between MENA men and western women are very few and far between. This is for many reasons but one of the biggest ones probably being the lack of any common or shared interests and goals beyond a superficial level. Like I said if you were my friend I would encourage you to just cut ties, better yourself, do you #1, and put the time and effort into more fulfilling endeavors. If you continue to entertain the possibility of being with him, and leave that door open you know it will prevent you from truly seeking happiness elsewhere and giving more to a relationship that has no real future to speak of. Best of luck to you. Of course I am always happy to discuss specific questions or explain further anytime, you can always reach me on my email syrianajordana7@gmail.com, inshallah I wish you all the best

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