Dear Theresa

Submitted by Daisy (Canada), Sep 11, 2006 at 10:01

Theresa:

I read your comments about marrying your fiance who is Muslim. I am a female and was born in a muslim family, so my parents practice islam. I am not very religious and nor have I ever dated muslim men because I am blinded by the idea that muslim men are very strict. If it helps, my father and my brother are wonderful men. My father treats my mother like gold and my brother's girlfriend is white Christian and he treats her like a princess. My family loves my brother's girlfriend and she's a part of our family. I am just saying this to let you know that everyone is not the same, you can find good people in any part of the world regardless of their race, colour and religious beliefs.

On the other hand, I have a boyfriend of four years who is Christian. His family is incredibly racist and I love him a lot so I go through great lengths to blend in with his family. I attend all of his family funtions and when I do, they bring out the newspaper and talk about how all muslims are dumb, uncivilize and suicuide bombers and my boyfriend is usually the one to start on it. I should mention that my boyfriend is a wonderful person and I truly love him and I respect him for his opinion and I often suggest him not to be insulting and that is is ok for him to voice his opinion. My family has completely made him part of our family, but I have been worried about our families meeting up because of how racist his family is and if they were to insult my parents that would be something I could not handle and would force me to walk away from this relationship, which I don't want to.

I think it is a shame that we, all children of God, have segregated ourselves by colour, race, religion and geographical boudaries. I grew up in a war torn country and have seen many people die and when I met my boyfriend I truly found love in him and I have treated him like a King.

As for your fiance, your differences will make your relationship stronger. If you look around and analyze your friends relationships, you may find many broken relationships that are not based on love. Many people break up because they do not want to trouble themselves with making small compramises. For your fiance and you to be together, regardless of how your families see this relationship, your love must really be strong. You are both willing to be with one another even though there is resentment from family memebers, which can be very difficult, if you can make it through this, then you will really make it. In the end, you are the best judge since you know your fiance.

As for raising children, in most relationships, when the parents are from different relgious backgrounds, the children usually are drawn towards the father's religion. I am from a muslim background but if my boyfriend and I get married (and we've been talking about it), our children most likely will be baptised and will attend Church and Sunday school, and I don't see anything wrong with that. I have attended Church many times with my boyfriend's family because to me God is in our heart, and can be found whether you're in Church or Mosque.

I wish you the best of luck with your futures together.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".