Dear Lorraine

Submitted by Sabrina (Canada), Sep 18, 2006 at 17:08

Hi Lorraine,

Sorry for taking so long to write. I was with a Tunisian, who was sent back to Tunisia, i loved him w/ all my heart and this man you are talking about is doing the same thing he is, slowly not talking, not listening about how you want things the way they used to be. It never happens that way, esp. if they are in another country. They have "their" women there and you know at the end of the its rare a man will be faithful.

If I were you, either give him an ultimatum, ask him, what does he really want, you? or nothing. Nd if he chooses nothing, then you will know you are better than him. Arab men are very hard to please, and very hard to know inside and out, as much as you may think you know him, you probably dont. Their own women dont know them, thats why a lot of them get away with many many bad things. Because of 9/11 a lot of people look down on Muslims, because they belive everything that is on the media, perhaps show your family what you see in Muslims or Islam.

Ramadhan is coming, and this is a very very important month for muslims, so be aware that if you man or any muslim man does not touch you or his gf or whatever, ITS NORMAL. Until the fast is broken after sundown he can not touch you, kiss you etc.

But back to you... No matter where any Arab comes from Muslim esp. they have their own way of dealing, they rarely tell a women how they truly feel, they never know how to convey it. Unless he puts a ring on your finger and takes your to the mosque, your chances of being with him will be at a 50/50. In their eyes, you might be beautiful, a jewel an eye candy, but for them to have another "kind" raise their kids is a very difficult choice. They will want the Muslim, you will have to convert unles he is ultra liberal which is rare to find.

You will have to make a lot of changes in your lifestyle...PORK will never be allowed near the house, prayer (salah, namaaz) will be learned, and if he wants you to speak arabic you will have to learn that.I know what im saying might sound scary, or it may be fine with you. But know that once you marry an Arab or Muslim, it always changes. Muslim women like me , we know what to expect, how its going to be, but for others its very hard, because traditions and culture and family values/morals are very different.

If you are unsure, take time for yourself, visit a mosque on your own time, see what its like...talk to him about the future, if there's a chance of marriage...ask him would you be a potential wife. little things like that will not only help you but will show him you are interested in his life. But PLEASE make sure you are on the same page. If he wants marriage...show him a wife...if he wants fun and games...play your game.

There is one thing, when an Arab,Muslim, Mid east, Asian man loves a women, oh they will love you to the end. Passion is in their blood, to either fight or love, they are on two ends of the spectrum. if hes in the middle and not showing you...think about a break .... or think about your future, your kids how do you want it...and perhaps moving on is an option, or perhaps learning more about islam is another.

GOOD LUCK!!!! any other questions let me know!

Sabrina

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