Should i marry a muslim (Ethopian)?

Submitted by babyblue013@aol.com (United States), Sep 18, 2006 at 20:01

I have a big problem I have been dating a Muslim from Ethiopia for the past 9 months and I am a Methodist, not too religious but I love my Christmas, and Easter. We saw this movie on religions and couples and we had this big long discussion.

now I find out all this stuff such as my kids have to be Muslim and I cant eat pork and at Muslim occasions I have to be separate from him. I know this doesn't seem like much and that's because we have compromised on a lot. but its like every week there is something new I'm doing wrong and I learn I cant do.

I guess I'm luckier than most . his mother told him I don't have to convert and he can marry me the way I am, my kids can celebrate Christmas, Easter and any other holidays that my religion celebrates, but my kids cant go to church and they cant be doing it for the religion its mostly for fun, I can have a dog in my house it just has to be kept clean. My boyfriend is the sweetest guy ever. he takes care of me 100% percent. if I need a soda or a back rub or money he gives it right to me and he makes me feel so special and important and loved all the time. He even wants us to move in together before marriage and get a job where I work because he knows I can't just stay at home but give me everything I want.

But we have a big problem with trust, he thinks if I don't pick up the phone I'm doing something I shouldn't be or he will leave me a mean message saying where are why are u not picking up. He also has a big temper that he won't talk about. its gotten to the point where I am scared, he has never showed one ounce of temper at me and he has never hit me and claims that he will never be that type of husband because he can't stand those men.

But he will get into fights with his family or random people about something stupid and I try to stop him but he says when he is like that he cant hear me. It scares me because I don't want him to get hurt or hurt someone else but he is not willing to work on it he says he is but then says I don't need to, let's not talk about it.

He hates it when I go out with friends like i'll say why cant I go with friends and he will say go ahead. but then when I say im going he gets pissed and then texts me the whole time. and if I forget to mention I went somewhere not thinking its a big deal he accuses me of lying to him. I'm so stuck on what I should do because when I tried to break up with him he cried and told me how he felt so deeply about me and I could tell and I love him so much too. I know he will be good to me but I'm afraid he will keep me from having friends and doing anything on my own. Im also afraid that when I have kids with him I will regret saying that I will raise them to be Muslim.

I also hate the separation between men and women. I was at his sisters wedding and I was by myself from 12 pm to 12 am. he would come over to talk some but otherwise I surrounded by Ethiopian women who wouldn't speak English and I really wanted to cry. I even didn't get to see the part where they got married because it was where the men were and the women just waited upstairs. His family is not a factor in it at all they all love me and think that I am such a great person that I can be my religion and still marry him, but I have to raise Muslim kids and I don't know how to do that.

I know this is a lot to read but it someone can tell me what they truly think because he is willing to compromise but I just don't know. I think our religions are too different but he doesnt because 2 of his aunts married men that converted before they got married and still celebrate my holidays. But i am not willing to convert and he is ok with that.

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