re: should I marry a muslim man?

Submitted by Leith (Australia), Oct 2, 2006 at 10:04

Hi Babyblue,

I really felt for you when I read your comments. I wanted to answer you in such a way that you know I understand how you're feeling right now. From the short amount that you were able to say I kept seeing the words "I'm scared". I don't believe that the way your boyfriend is reacting to you is about his religion. I believe it has something to with controlling you. And that, is a universal problem, that occurs in any country, religion and culture. It is not right that a person who says they love you, leaves you with a scared feeling. Scared that you don't know how he will react and I'd suspect you also feel that nothing you do is right. His temper, is just that.....HIS.....It is not something you can control, nor do you cause it, by any of the things you have said in your comment. Trust is the foundation of any relationship or friendship. If your partner is refusing to talk about this, thats a really good sign that he doesn't believe there is any problem with his behaviour. Do not feel responsible for his behaviour, whether it is a temper tantrum or he sulks for a while. By you playing into this, he is controlling how you feel on a day to day basis.

I'm not a professional in this, so I'd advise you to discuss this with one or some of the people you are closest to, maybe your family. Ask them what they think about this? Regardless of where a person comes from, if they are showing signs of having a problem managing their anger, I'd ask you to seriously consider whether you want a life that will include all of the stress and emotional ups and downs to go with it.

You may find after some time that your own behaviour begins to change in order to survive it. If you wish to continue a relationshp with him, and I'd suspect you do, get some counselling for yourself on how to handle these situations in another way.

Good luck, take care of yourself

Leith

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