Reading all these comments makes me want to scream (lebanese man)

Submitted by Carol (United States), Oct 12, 2006 at 10:56

I am a Christian American Lebanese, who has been exposed to the muslim faith many times over. Ironically enough, for the first time ever i have allowed myself to listen to my heart and date a muslim. We both have fallen in love with eachother completely, but I know it won't work out in the long run. I am okay with allowing myself this temporary happiness, but i won't want it to be permanent.

I don't want it to be permanent because I know that once marriage vows are recited everythign will change. I have been researching so much, and in general my findings are all the same, the kids will have to be muslim, and for the muslim man to marry a christian women, is a huge reward for him. I even tell him this too. I speak lebanese very fluently and I go to Lebanon often, and my family have muslim friends and we (both religions) are constantly together in functions together.

But the differences are huge. I have read many many articles where people are saying that God is the same for all of us. IS HE REALLY? Our lord is all merciful, all forgiving, all loving. He sent his only son to die on the cross for our sins. And we were told there will be no false gods or prophets after Jesus. He doesnt promise us material things in heaven, things that we can get here on earth! He promises us peace and happiness, and love. Not 72 virgins, and all the milk you can dream of (i know i am going to offend people for saying this, but its true). I am not trying to give a religious lesson, I swear, but if our muslim men won't be open and try to understand our religion and what we feel and think, then why should we be obligated to do that with them.

I look at this world and i can't believe i am part of it. Its beautiful that we all are different, and believe different things and have different cultures. But we are not God to enforce our cultures or beliefs (i said cultures first!) on other people. I am going to offend many muslim people when i say this, but ladies and gentlemen who are not muslim, i promise you that in some way or another your lovers are going to try to force you to change. The more liberal muslims won't but their families will intervene and make their muslim family member that loves you feel like a weak sissy for not sticking to his religion and not forcing you to become muslim. Please don't be blinded by love! God gave us emotions, and they are the most incredible thing in the world but he also gave us a brain. Think ahead and not just in the moment. Are you going to want your kids to be confused between what mom and dad believe? Are you going to want to feel your families disapproval, after all when it comes down to it your family is all you do have in life!

I could not stand knowing that my kids are torn between their parent, nor will i be able to handle the look on my families face if i were to submit to my boyfriends religion, and i will not allow any of his family to call him names for being more liberal. I have to respect his religion and his family and i dont want our differnces to cause him hurt at all. Please don't be selfish and think it will work out, because it wont. I am only generally speaking, i truly believe that there are couples whom are blissfully happy but i think that is more rare then it it is common.

I believe when i marry it is him and me and God. I want it to be in God's house and us standing side by side in front of the altar! The mosque doesn't even allow men and women to pray next to eachother, and a couple can't marry there next to eachother either! I want my family to pray together as one unit. Not the girls in a room and the boys in the other room. Family prayers is powerful and beautiful.

Ladies, we do fall in love many times in life, its beautiful and we have our hearts broken many times and we still survive!!! Most muslim men are family men and its something that is so darn attractive cause you can visualize him being a great dad and a good husband. BUT open your eyes and look deeper please. Instead of praying that you two will work out, pray that God will shine upon you the truth and open up the doors to your questions. Take your time, don't jump into anything.

As Americans, we lack culture, i mean real culture that goes back hundreds of years with traditions and ceremonies. Its very attractive when we become part of something like that, we feel enlightened and thrilled. But a guy doesnt have to introduce you to that.

Maybe my entire article is a huge bit of nothing, maybe i am just babbling. I am sure i will get feedback and i won't get upset about any of it because i think its awesome that we all think differently, but if i have caused anyone to question themselves at all, then i feel i have succeeded with this article. Love is mutual, sure one person will love more then the other, but it should be an equal relationship. Good luck with your love journey cause I know i need it!

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".