Dear Michelle

Submitted by Laura (United States), Oct 13, 2006 at 04:07

It is true for most Muslim men that if they do decide to marry a non-muslim woman, their kids have to be raised with the Islamic religion. I know that you love your boyfriend a lot, but if I would have known 2 years and half ago that I would be in the situation I am right now, l think I would have walked away from my relationship.

I don't know if you read my story, I am the Mexican-American with the Saudi boyfriend who's studying in the U.S. My advice is that the longer you are with your boyfriend, the harder it will be for you to leave him.

You said that if you had to raise your kids under the Islamic religion you can't be with this man, don't blind your self with love. Don't make the same mistake I did please. If in your heart you believe that in the future their might be the slightest possiblity of accepting raising your kids to be Muslim...then stay with this man. If you won't mind having a different religion than your husband and kids...then stay with this man. Aside from this, try informing yourself as much as possible about the Islamic religion...buy books, surf the internet, speak to muslims.

About having sex before marriage, I think muslim men adapt the religion to their convenience. I am not saying that all muslim men have sex before marriage, but my boyfriend, and his friends (which are all arab) are not married and have sex. It is the same with smoking and drinking, especially drinking, most muslim men that are in the U.S do drink alcohol even though Islam prohibits it.

I even know that there is a 'black market' in Saudi where one can purchase alcohol illegally for an extremely ridiculous price. All I can say is, once again, if you can't see yourself raising your kids muslim, then walk away right now before your heart gets hurt. I know this is one of the hardest decisions you will probably have to make about your life, but I know you can do it. But do not make any decision until you are sure of what you want to do.

Please take my advice, if someone would have told me almost 3 years ago what I am telling you now, I would not be in the difficult situation that I have sadly put myself. Feel free to ask me as many questions as you want.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".