well it's about time someone says it out loud!!

Submitted by Jewels (United States), Oct 28, 2006 at 03:22

My dear Aysha,

Thank you so much for putting this out there, I was in love and still am in love with a Muslim man, he wanted to be with me and continuously told me that he didn't need documents.

After two months of being together he finally tells me that he is married back in his country and that she has been waiting for him for the better of five years. He told me that he will not divorce her that he loves her and that he loved me as well.

This is where it becomes my fault, as you see I am a divorced woman myself and it was because of infidelity. I was rather shocked by this revelation however I still remained with him. He was charming, attentive and I was lonely for five years of being divorced, not an excuse, however that was what it was. He told me that he needed to get his documents finally after probably feeling relieved of telling me, so that he can go and see his kids, but just for the sake of the kids. Two months there and the rest of the year with me. Hmmmm...admitting this to you is now starting to hit me how stupidly in love I was or rather just how stupid I was.

He shared about his religion and I embraced Islam without letting him know because I knew that I could not live as a second wife under no circumstances, he met my daughter and my entire family and yet maintained my existence as a secret to everyone back in his country. I can't believe that he carried on a year with me with no feelings of remorse for the family, I finally had to leave the state that he was in because I could no longer handle the idea of being an illusion. I really messed up sister and since embracing Islam I have asked time and time again for forgiveness because I know exactly how it feels to have my husband be with another woman. I just have a ridiculous question though.....why do I still love him despite all of this? How do I uncast the spell>?

thank you,

Jewels

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