IT IS DIFFERENT

Submitted by Terri Ballard (United States), Nov 20, 2006 at 19:23

Back in August 2005, I was engaged to be married to R.V. from India. He had me convinced that marrying him would be a great experience and that he would move to Michigan and we would have a great life.

We spent many hours on the phone and the first time I saw him I fell in love with him, his darkness and his eyes were amazing, but there was something withdrawn about him. He told me he loved me always before we hung up the phone every night. There was just one thing, his mother did not like me because I am an American and she would show R. many, many pictures of different Indian girls that he could date. He always rejected them, but it caused many bad feelings for him with his mom. His mom would never accept me.

So, after we broke up, I was devastated. I went to my physician ... who is also from India and from the same culture. She helped me through it and she told me that Indian men/women are controlled by their parents even after they are adults. She said it is hard for Indian parents, especially mothers to ever let go of their children, they always consider them their responsibility and if you cannot be accepted by the parents, then there is not much hope for a good relationship. With R., I am sure we would have had a great relationship if we ever would have had the chance. So, you see, in my heartache, there is reality that sometimes men of foreign descent do not always have the option of marrying an American.

Thank you for listening as this was a very trying and sad experience in my lifetime. /Terri

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".