CAUTION!

Submitted by kathy (European Union), Nov 28, 2006 at 09:23

Hi Elina

At this moment you are elated you have never felt love like this before. this man is the answer to your prayers, no one has ever said these things to you or made you feel this way. You are looking for a relationship and probably very lonely and this man comes along the answer to your prayers.

I met an Egyptian man while I was on holiday about a year ago. being an relatively well travelled person I took his advances with a huge pinch of salt. but after I returned from holiday he kept up the contact. Never had I met a sweeter, loving man he would text every day telling me how much he loved me. I was in heaven This man was wonderful he had the ability to make me feel so loved even though he was living thousands of miles away more so than any relationship that I had had with anyone in my own country.

He is 22 and I am 43 so I always had some reservation about our relationship but tried to trust in love. He is a muslim but religion has never really been a major issue because in some respects I know probabbly as much as he does about his faith. he is not what i call a practicing Muslim. He owns his own business and seems to do ok.

I went to see him for the first time in February and we agreed to marry. We married at a lawyers office which is the first stage of marriage out there. But it is also a license that allows them to be with you and to have sex. If they do not have this paper of marriage they can be thrown in prison and worst will be breaking islamic law for having sex outside of marriage. So before you start booking flights check with your man which marriage you will be having, the proper marriage is at the consulate in Cairo.

If you start asking this man the right questions you will soon see if he is genuine. The tricky ones don't like you if you are too smart or know too much about thier culture / traditions. They prey on your ignorance.

When I went out to see him in february I did not go with the intention to marry but if we wanted to travel or even walk on the street we needed that paper so there was no choice. We didn't have sex for about a week after I arrived due to the time of the month but after the first time. he asked me for money he said he needed £500 to pay for the flat he had rented. I was reluctant to give him but made some excuses and gave him about £300 but he was pressing to see if I could get more from my family back in england. It was only then i realised how vulnerable I was so i played along and pretended to make calls back home but said it was no use.

He had a wonderful knack of making me feel guilty for not being able to give him the money and tried to say that £500 was nothing in Egypt and that people get through that in a week no problem. using belittling tactics. the truth is the average Egyptian earns about £40 a month.

Inspite of this we got on really well I met his family and stayed with them for a few days and everyone seemed to like me they were all very pleasant. We were not going to sleep in the same room. but his mother insisted that we stay together.,

When I got back to England I thought just forget it, wasn't a bad holiday but I didn't think there was a future because of him being so young. But we kept in touch and things just got deeper and the love grew. he never mentioned money again. I went out to see him again in June and we had a lovely time. He paid for the accomodation and I gave him a contribution but only of about £90 or so. I took gifts for him and his family, but he also gave me gifts as well and I thought maybe this will work . The only problem I had which on reflection was a big one was the way in which he relates to his friends. The men tend to stick together all the time so that you find you are always around a group of men and some of his friends were hanging around literally to see if they could get a big mac. So he not only had to provide for us but also the hangers on who think that you're bringing the pounds.

We did have a falling out before I left over an incident with one of his friends which nearly ended up with me missing my flight again it just highlighted how vulnerable I was because i was at their mercy to get me to the airport on time. I do not speak Arabic and so when I am there i am 100% dependent on him.

I did not answer any of his messages for about three days after I got back. but I love this man so the relationship took off again. I really couldn't fault him. Then funny things started to happened like; getting two texts messages wishing me good morning or good night. it was obvious he was texting two of us but he denied it.

Then in about August he asked me if I could help him to buy a shop he needed to raise £3000. I said no because I had other commitments. Then a few weeks later he asked me again as another opportunity had come up but this time he wanted us to be partners in the shop. I asked him to send me a contract and I would get my lawyer to look at it. he said the shop got sold because he couldn't raise the money in time.

Around this time i called him one evening and a woman answered the phone and then the phone was unavailable . He denied it and said it was a problem with the network . He was keen to come to england but after I checked it out I realised that if I was inviting him here as my fiance that I would have to declare all of my savings etc and I was not ready for that yet.

I had planned to go back in September but he said it would be a problem because of Ramadan. So we put it off til december. he said he was expecting some tourists to come to Egypt 16 Nov and wanted me to come for one week so that we go on a tour together with this lady and her local Egyptian husband. I was a bit suspicious about the whole thing but he assured me that it was purely business and that he and his work partner would go together and only spend 1 day to settle in them in. i could not make it because of work commitments.

I heard from him on the 17th Nov he was travelling to Luxor for this trip and he was telling me how much he missed me and wished that i was with him. He kept in contact until 19 Nov wished me good morning said how much he missed me. That is the last time I heard from him. text him on 21st to ask what happened because it is unusual not to hear every day. No answer. I phoned him on 24th his friend answered his phone this has never happened before. His friend said that he was there but with a customer and to call back in 10 mins. I called back and it was the same thing again, So I sent a text telling him that I suspected he was avoiding me and asked if he had met someone else. No answer. The following morning I called again the operator said that the number had not been recognised.

Elina I am not ging to tell you not to marry this man but just like you I did my research went on the web and contrary to what everyone was saying I thought mine was different. This is what we want to believe. part of me knew all along but another part of me wanted to believe.

I've learned alot about myself these past few days I really miss him and I still love him but what can I do. I also know that the reason why this man could treat me this way is because my life is really quite empty even though I am busy and I am very lonely and he filled this void.

If you are going out in December please don't go alone ; try and stay in a hotel whether you stay with him or not. do not isolate yourself; just go with an open mind to see and have caution. On the other hand with all that you have heard and if you decide to take this on then consider can you take it for what its worth and have a fun time. Knowing that when he is ready to move on, you can laugh and say c'est la vie and you haven't lost too to much mentally , emotionally or financially and that your dignity is intact.

At this moment I have a friend who has lost £25,000 just travelling back and forrth to Egypt over the last 18 months and the phone calls and expensive gifts, her husband told her last week by text that he has divorced her. we've since heard he got married the day after she left egypt to another english woman.

We are easy pickings to them. please be careful because emotionally and mentally they can cause a lot of damage. They definitely don't see love in the same way as us. They expect you to keep them; And a man that can be bought is open to the highest bidder. A western wife means money to them.

Oh and just in case the power of delusion tries to persuede you that i am some rickety old fool that got taken in by a younger man with a six pack. No I am regularly mistaken for being in my 20's. I was single by choice and not desperate for a relationship. He is 22 but could pass for 35 easy and when I met him was what you would describe as obese.

Hopefully my experience can help you not to make the same mistakes. but I sincerely hope that your man loves you and that things work out for you but if you see any funny business please don't talk yourself out of making the right decision. Just flee!!

Kathy

P.s if you leave your contact i can support you through this and if you don't have a travel buddy to go with again we may be able to work something out

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