met a jordanian man

Submitted by raquel (United States), Jan 5, 2007 at 10:22

I met a jordanian man through lovehappens.com, we have been talking for 2 weeks, he is a strong in his beliefs, he prays five times a day, we talk on the phone. He says he is looking for his wife, he wants an american, but I must follow the right path, no shorts, no male friends, no pork, no drinking, no talking with my male cousins.

He says he is liberal, i would be allowed to wear some make-up out, not much must look natural, and we would discuss clothing. He lived in the US for 8 years had his green card, had a store with his brother who still lives in NYC with his much older american wife , lost his money and went back to jordan. He is working on saving money to try it again here.

He says he knows I am the one he wants and has already asked me to marry him, I told him I am not ready for marriage, that I cannot decide in 2 weeks the rest of my life. He said he cannot waste long time talking to women on the phone or internet because it is forbidden in islam and that is why they marry so quickly.

He also mentioned that his friend had met an american online and she flew to jordan in a week and married his friend and they will be going back to the states in a few weeks. he says he has no patience for house hold things like cooking or cleaning it is not in his nature, but i do not have to cook if i come home tired from work we would order out. He would like me home in the evening with him and when he makes enough money to pay all of the bills and my student loans he would like me home.

He says i do not have to convert, but from what i understand from a marriage contract, and please correct me if i am wrong, don't i basically convert when i make certain statements in arabic during the cermony? He became angry when i said i felt feelings of love but was not in love to marry yet. and said my way of thinking was stupid, and this is why i was 32 and not married and that mark his words i will remember what he said when I marry an american man and he lies and cheats on me, that he was right, that he was the honest man who never lies, cheats or hits his wife (cuz that is not the islamic way).

Is this what i have to look forward to if i marry him? putting down my life? I am christian, 2 years older than him, a professor, I am a good woman by many standards and he says i do not know my life is wrong. he says many american woman marry jordanian men, they are all over jordan happy and in the states, most of his male relatives have married americans. I have been reading this site and most people say it is not good for americans to marry the islamic man. i would appreciate hearing both sides of the story not just the bad. my additional questions: why the hurry to marry on his part? I understand dating is prohibited in islam is this why he wants to marry? why american women, if we have to change so much? How does he know in 2 weeks he loves me and wants to marry me? He said it is their culture, they don't waste time he is not about using or for just sex, he is for the "meanings"--what does that mean, the meanings? he says I am difficult, i ask a lot of questions, hahaha, that i am like going to the market, not easy but yet he still wants me.

Thank you for all of your open and honest post on this site, they have been insightful to say the least.

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