Yes Steph Im here and he is there

Submitted by Karissa (United States), Jan 23, 2007 at 21:36

Steph,

I am here in the USA, mostly it was my choice. I could have stayed in Turkey with his family and we could have lived there, but I have children here and didnt want to be thousands of miles away from them. My baby is 16 but still they are my children and I didnt want to be separated from them. My husband's father offered to give us one of his homes to live in , but to be honest, I really just wanted to come back here , back home.

I still dont have an easy life and sometimes I have to ask my husband to send me money because its hard to make ends meet at times. I still have my suspicions and I dont know if that is due to all the stories I have read or because of what he did in the beginning of our separation. I have thought sometimes about hiring someone to find out if his intentions are real, or if they are just in my head. For the most part I trust my husband, but I wonder sometimes if that is because I want so desparately to beleive in him. I miss my husband's family soo much and I hope to see them again one day. I dont know if my husband really loves me, but I believe that his family does, because I lived with them almost 2 months day and night, and I am sure if they had any bad feelings towards me , they couldn't keep up an act for that long. If you happen to know of a sure fire way to tell , let me know.

I figure that if they deny his visa, and he hands me divorce papers, then that is a sure way to tell if he really loves me or not. At any rate, I am not afraid of being alone. Even if I had a child with him, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and my children. I was raised in a very abusive house when I was growing up, and beleive me when I say , I will never live that kind of life, not for any man. If he is coming here just to get a green card, I will know it within the first few months, and I am sure I know how to divorce him ..hard as that might be. If you have any signs for me to look for...please let me know..so far since those two incidents with the pagers I havent found anything more..But I do have my eyes peeled..and looking like a hawk for anything out of place....

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