Through all the anger love still shines through.

Submitted by Grace (United States), Feb 2, 2007 at 22:59

Hi Steph: In answer to your question to me: Istanbul . I share in your sadness. I am sorry that your heart felt broken today. I do not know too much of your story and have been trying to put together some of it through your entries. It sounds like you have a wonderful little 8 year old. May I ask what she knows of her daddy? Does he spend time with him or his he permanently out of the picture? Forgive me for asking too much. I don't want to bring out any more pain so if you are not comfortable with any of the questions that I ask don't answer. I beleive that you still love him-why? I am not asking that because I think it is wrong or right but I would like to know why?

What attracted you to him? Was he a resident of this country when you met him? I will be married in 2007 for 17 years to a wonderful Turkish man. The first thing I asked him 17 years ago BEFORE I even asked his name, "Are you a resident of this country". Why? Because I had heard too many stories like the ones I have read on this website.

Had he NOT had his "papers" I would have continued on my way BUT I cannot be sure because I was extremely impressed on the way he carried himself. There are many men who probably do not have their papers and are of good character and happen to fall in love with an American Woman. American Women must be careful but don't shy away from a relationship that may bring you great joy for the rest of your life.

DO be careful! Do your homework! Learn about the country. Can you live with their customs? Are you prepared to make some sacrifices? Do they genuinely love our country? My husband LOVES this country. Do not run into the arms of a man you know NOTHING about! A few beautiful words via the internet do not equal a good man.

Take your time! Steph, writes about ONE side-the side that SHE knows about Muslim men but YOU need to discover this on your own. We all have different experiences which form how we behave towards others. I have beautiful things to say but that is MY experience. I am catholic and he is Muslim. Our teenager is Catholic. We are a normal family-eat together -love watching American Idol together. Big Soccer fans around here. I am not alone -Many American Women married to Muslim live a happy normal life in the United States.

Steph, I told you before that you have many important decisions to make and I pray that through this website you will get the support and strength to do what is right for you and your daughter. You are an articulate woman and it sounds like you have a right to be as angry as you are BUT for how long? I pray that your heart will soften and the advice that you give the women reading this site (although your intentions are good) will be presented in a more gentle fashion and not from such an angry place. You may FEEL the right to be judgmental but not all of us have walked in your shoes. I appreciate you sharing your story with all of us. It is not my intent to upset you but if you are it is also my right to respond as you have to me and to others. Be well and happy. Grace.

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