To Steph

Submitted by Donna (United States), Feb 3, 2007 at 00:55

I feel bad that you are in the situation you are in. There are organizations that will give you and your children the help you need to break free of this man. I have read you dont have a car and you live in a rural area. I was also in that situation with a former husband. They will actually come and take you and the children from the home. You will have the opportunity to get job training if you need it, or further your education, if not, they will help you find a job, and provide you with a safe home as well.

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, to make that decision, but it was the best thing I ever did for my children, and for myself. Being a single mother is a huge responsibility. You have to rely only on yourself, because the father, his family, and in my case, I had no family that would help. I was scared of everything. I was convinced I would not be able to take care of myself, much less my children. I had no self esteem. He had convinced me I would never be loved by any man, because I was so pathetic. It took me a long time to realize I wasnt what he said. I was a good mother, and wife, and I stopped blaming myself for the failure of our marriage, and realized he only said those things to keep me, because he was the one lacking.

Anyway, I lived in rural oklahoma. I was 5 miles down a dirt road, from the nearest neighbor. I didnt have a computer, a car, I never went out, not even shopping, he done that too, but only to keep me at home. However, I did have a phone, and a phone book, and it allowed me to get in contact with the organizations I needed. To his surprise, when he came home from a weekend drunk, we were all gone. Accepting help from others was also a hard thing for me, but I knew it was best for myself, and my children. I didnt want my son growing up treating women the way his father treated me, or my daughter accepting it as the norm.

Just think about it. You dont have to rush into a decision, but if you want out, there are ways. I wish you luck. If you would like, I can help you find organizations over the net, but I think you are internet saavy.

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