Thanks for the great feedback...

Submitted by Cherese (United States), Feb 19, 2007 at 17:35

Well I have been reading everyone's comments and I am getting some really good feedback about all of your experiences. It is hard to say if my situation is/will be the same or different from anyone else's since every person is different. As for some similarities, yes the guy I have been dating could easily sweep me off my feet because he is more sweet and romantic than what I have been used to lately. At the same time though I am not a person who trusts easily so it is going to take some time and I hope by then I will know more about who he really is. I am just taking things slowly, by not developing an 'intimate' relationship yet, and spending a lot of time getting to know each other and communicating. He is also trying to teach me some of his language so that is pretty interesting.

We have been open to talking with me about our different perspectives and cultural bakcgrounds as well as his religious beliefs from the beginning and we have had some pretty good discussions about it, as well some discussions about how he and I view women, of course I know this is an important focuse point. I don't agree with all of his perspectives and vice versa but I am waiting to see if he is actually as 'compromising' as he seems to be or if he will be the Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde type so many other people are saying they have experienced. I don't think he has just laid everything out on the table yet though... There are some important things we haven't discussed like the multiple wives issue for example. However, I just like to take those things a few at a time, if things continue on the way they are I am sure we will discuss it soon.

I'm a bit confused about his lifestyle though because he goes to clubs, drinks and smokes cigarettes (not recklessley, by American standards, but more than he should since he's not supposed to at all) and I haven't seen him pray yet or even mention it. Through some of our discussions he has mentioned that being in the US culture can have an impact on international people especially when they come here at a yound age, and I from my experience with international people I think this is true to some extent. Not to mention he is only here with his brother, the rest of the family is in Egypt. He has talked about how things are so different here in terms of the lifestyle and especially dating, that of course he never dated anyone in Egypt since that isn't part of theculture, and didn't have a girlfriend before he came here; having a woman (girl friend and girlfriends etc) as a guest in the home now is not uncomfortable like it was at first, etc. However, I am not naive enough to believe that he has changed his way of life completely because if he moves back or visits Egypt he will live by that way of life. It seems like maybe he lives by the idea 'When in Rome do as the Romans do...' Not sure how I feel about that though.

Someone brought up a comment about education - I haven't seen his degree yet but he said he would show it to me... Why is he bringing this up or feel the need to show me and how will I even know if it is authentic? I hate to sound doubtful but I am actually skeptical by nature :)

Of course I want to be able to trust this person and I have had feedback from both perspectives, those who say this will become a horrible mistake and those who say it will be great and don't worry.However, learning about the experiences of other people though is helpful in understanding issues that may come up as well as those that I should bring up. There are quite a few things that have been mentioned that I haven't thought of. My family seems to like him for the most part, a few have their concerns of course, and a few are quietly wondering if he is fishing for a green card... It's hard to say but I think he probably had a few other opportunities for that before I came along. As always looking forward to your feedback... Ciao!

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".