Is this normal behavior? (Egyptian man)

Submitted by Chiraz (United States), Feb 21, 2007 at 10:37

The guy I have been 'dating' has lived here for a while, but I have known him only around 1 1/2 - 2 months so am still getting to know him. One of the things I find puzzling is that he drinks alcohol, not excessively, but drinks nonetheless, smokes cigarettes, and goes out to clubs and bars with his other Middle Eastern friends. I haven't really questioned him about this yet but I know this is not allowed in Islam.

I noticed a few people on this board have mentioned this before so I am hoping to get some feedback on what this might mean... At the same time I think about people who are Christian etc. who do the many of the things that really aren't acceptable (Not sure if I can make this comparison though).

We are not having an intimate relationship since we really don't know each other yet, but he has dated someone before me so that may not have applied in that situation. He did tell me that there was no dating in Egypt, and he never dated or had a gf until he came here and of course he is telling me he is not married. However he did say that he is supporting his family back in Egypt, although I don't know the extent of this other than parents and another sibling.

I am also wondering if coming here to the US at a young age may affect the lifestyle that people live. In conversation he mentioned that he feels living in the US does have an impact on international people coming from different cultures and changes them a little, and he says he feels changed a little. For example he was mentioning to me about having women as guests at his home (which he shares with his brother) and how this was really awkard and uncomfortable at first but now it's not a problem. So, I think that some people do find a kind of adapted way of life here.

Something else I am concerned about is that he told me he is a sensitive man, which he does seem to be, but he also admitted that he can be jealous. I don't know if it is good or bad that he can admit this to me... If this relationship were to go further I wonder if he will be the sensitive person he is now or a Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde persona that others have experienced? And in his own culture in Egypt he would probably be different... It is hard to tell which questions can be answered by the personality of the individual or by the culture.

He has met my family, and they like him for the most part but there are a few who have reservations. I have met his brother and a few of his friends... I would like to trust this person because we are getting along so well, he seems sincere, and we seem to be very compatible but on the other hand it's hard to really know if everything is as sincere as it seems.

Anyways, if anyone has any feedback that would be great.

Thanks, Chiraz!

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