Non muslim Men whose family is against marrying western woman - (Syrian) why is it so?

Submitted by Lola (Australia), Mar 12, 2007 at 07:31

I had (just broken up) been in a relationship for 5 years off and on with a 28 yr old syrian non muslim guy. Back when i was 21 i had met a syrian guy who swept me off my feet .He had been in Australia for 6 years and worked his butt off so that he could send for his mother who lived in Syria. He was not after money nor a greencard as he had both. After 1 year of dating he dumped me and said that his mom was coming to live in australia and that he won't have time for me. We had mutual friends who lived close by to him and saw on a daily basis he would always say how much he missed me but i didn't understand why he would just come back if he had missed me so much.

After 2 years I too got over him and tried to find someone until one day I had got a call left on my cell phone saying wanted to catch up for coffee, when I heard his voice I dropped the phone in shock coz I had thought I would never hear from him again. I called him back that night a was very confused why he would be calling me after so long. he said he had gotten married to a Syrian girl. I freaked out and told not to call me again but the next day he had come to my house telling me he missed me and from that point of my life had changed - I found myself having an affair for 4 years with this guy which I am not proud of at all but my heart would not allow me to break it off. I said to him he shouldn't have got married. he agreed and said if his dad was around (his dad passed away when he was 16) he would approve but with his mother was a different story.

I keep questioning why I wasn't good enough for his family. We all bleed the same blood and we are all human but why is it when it comes to matters of the heart Arabic men let family control their lives and they end up making the big mistake and they pay for it for the rest of their lives. I hate the fact that he goes to work every day comes home to live a lie.

I know he worries allot about what other ppl think of him in his community - I don't really understand at all why this is so. All I keep playing back in my mind was the last words he had said to me was we will leave it to Fate ( المصير) "Your the sweetest thing that ever happened to me since I had come to Australia" and that he will always love me.

I am now driving myself crazy but wondering if it all had been just a lie or a fantasy he had set up. Deep down I believe it was real on both sides. Don't know what to do , a part of me wants him to leave his wife, but another is happy to move on but wanting answers.

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