Advice would be greatly appreciated! (Lebanese boyfriend)

Submitted by Fatma (United States), Mar 19, 2007 at 22:15

First off let me start by saying I am a 25 year old American woman with Turkish and Italian roots. My Turkish father and Italian mother divorced when I was very young and I was raised by my mother, who let us children decide what religion they wanted to follow. (My father was not a huge part of our lives growing up.)

I identify myself as a Muslim though I am not strict. I have been with my Lebanese boyfriend for 3 years. Things are great between us although he never talks about marriage to me. In the past few years I have gotten to know his family very well, and his mother even cooks for me everyday. (I live alone; my mother lives a few hours away.) His parents absolutely adore me and say no other woman, even if she was Lebanese, would not be better than me for their son. My boyfriend is a very complex person and believes that he needs to have lots of money, be secure and have his degree before he can actually talk about marriage to me.

We have talked about it before but he always says that he doesn't know when he'll be ready and I can leave if I feel like I'm wasting my time. (We haven't had this discussion in over a year but I'm not ready to bring this subject up again.) I do not know if I should wait to bring this discussion up again until he his more secure or what. He still lives at home with his parents, and even his parents tell him that we could have a small wedding party and live together in my home. (I recently bought a house.) I guess I'm wondering if I should stick it out a few more years or give him an ultimatum.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".