An advice from a muslim girl to all American women

Submitted by muslimgirl (United States), May 12, 2007 at 09:28

I am a non Arab muslim girl who just broke up with a Jordanian guy whom I dated for only 2 months. Don't judge Muslims based on these guys' attitude & it's their culture.

I have a graduate degree in engineering & working for a good company, and I bulit up my own life in US by myself. Whereas my-ex met an American woman online when he was in Jordan and he moved all the way to US to be with her (!) and than he divorced. I couldn't beleive how these American women can be so blind sometimes.

At the beginning he introduced himself as a very open minded, liberal and a non-traditional Middle Eastern guy. Just after a month, he asked me to stay at home after getting marrried and take care of the kids. I told him that I didn't want to stay at home, take care of babies, cook and clean and entertain my husband in the night, and that was not the life that I was dreaming of.

When I objected, he blamed me for putting my life in front of not only marriage but also everything. Hey!! I am not only career oriented but also a very social girl, and making me stay at home is nothing but just a torture. I was born and raised as a Muslim and had a working mom. My parents always supported me to stand on my own feet as an independent woman. Even the very conservative Muslim guys back home don't demand the things he demanded from me. In Islam, wife doesn't have to do housework, she even doesn't have to milk the baby if she doesn't want to, but husband has to provide everything from food to clothing. What these Jordanian or Arab guys are asking is not Islam.

I heard a lot of stories about American women getting married with Middle Eastern guys without knowing them well. I am not saying all the Middle Eastern guys are same but they know how to treat women (before the marriage) better than American men and American women fall for that. Please American women, use your brains not your hormones when you make such a life changing decision!!! Read and know about Islam from good books, consult to Islamic centers not only from what your guys say...

As a bottom line, dear professor!!! Obviously what you and me have been through is not about religion; it's about culture. If somebody wants to convert to Islam, she should do it just because she believes in, but not for her husband. Only God knows our hearts and let's pray a lot to God (in church or mosque or at home, doesn't matter) to keep us in right path no matter what it is.

May God bless all ...

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