how to keep a turkey guy

Submitted by amerisian (United States), May 14, 2007 at 23:50

when i read your blog, i was so surprised because it the same thing that happened to me. i am asian living in america . i have a turkish boyfriend living in istanbul. i met him two years ago here in america when he had a training. we see each other for almost a month but i didnt find him cute at first. we were just friends at first and i find him very charming. on his last day here, he asked me to go out and i went out. he kissed me and since then i had fallen for him. he invited to sleep with him but i refused. we chat amost everyday after he came back to turkey.

after three months , he stopped communicating with me. i didnt know what happened to him. he just left without a word. having a strong pride myself,i did not made effort to communicate either.i moved on and dated guys again. after eight months, he came back to america again. i was surprised. but i realized i am inlove with this guy. i dont know but he has this charm that i couldnt resist. i asked him why he left without a word. he did not admit that he left me. he just said that he had a serious family problem that he needed to attend to and claims that it was already resolved. he met my family for the first time and they fall in love with him too. his entire stay we spent time together. this time,,i fell for him deeply. we slept together and i admit he is really good in bed.

when he came back to turkey ,i was so scared that he will leave me again. our communication continued and he asked me to visit him in turkey. i went there and met his family. i stayed in his house with his family. they treated me so well eventhough they know that i am catholic. everybody in his neighborhood are so hospitable. i cant count how many neigbors we had visited. they made sure that i feel welcome when i go to their houses. his mom is so loving. i dont know how we communicate eventhough she doesnt understand english, my turkish boyfriend never leave my side literally. he took very good care of me. i cannot compare him to other guys. he is so wonderful. they say that muslims are conservative ,i think it depends. turkey is so modern. i saw how the girls dressed up. they are not wearing scarf. they are wearing jeans and shirts but they dont wear shorts or short skirts. living in america for so long, i adopted how americans dress up.

my boyfriend doesnt care as long as i dont wear shorts shorts or mini skirt. i was guilty too by judging the turkish by believing what i read in the internet about them. most are not true at all. turkish are the most loving people in the world. i experienced it myself. i would say that maybe that is how they play the game of love. i noticed that some turkish men love to be chased by girls but some of them love a woman who they think they cannot manipulate. this is what i did to him.

i did not show him so much attention. he tried not to call me for 10 days and i didnt call him either. everytime he tried to be play his game by doing this. i ignored him. he learned his lesson and he knew that i will not kiss his ass. i played his game sometimes. he was so upset and would call me 20 times a day. he was going crazy if i dont answer his calls. everytime he asked me to call him, i intentionally didnt call him. i noticed that he loves to chase me. the only thing that i dont do is to make him jealous. turkish guys are extremely jealous. i made him secure that telling him that i will not leave him no matter what. modern turkis guys allow their wives to work. i found it out also when i went to turkey. a lot of his friends wives are working. my boyfriend is also proud of my achievements. he admire women who are strong willed.

it is true that turkish guys are loud. they expressed their opinions by shouting. we had a lot of arguments that lead to shouting and hanging up of calls after. but after several hours,he was calling me to apologize. he couldnt understand sometimes how americans live. turkish life is really different from americans who have a fast phase life. he couldnt understand at first why i have to go out every weekend to eat outside and do so much shopping. turkish are closely knit family. after work they go straight to their homes which i think is very ideal. they respect their parents so much specially their mom. i saw how his mom took care of him and his brother to think that they are grown ups.

my boyfried kisses my cheeks when he gets excited infront of his family, friends ,and neighbors which made surprised. here is the turkish community i thought was very conservative and yet it was fine for them to see my boyfriend showing his affection for his girlfriend. his home is near one of the university. i saw boyfriends and girlfriends holding hands while walking. female seat beside a male in a bus. male offers their seat when they see a female or elderly standing up in the bus. the only thing that made amazed was everytime i go out ,people would stare at me ,as if i came from another planet. maybe they are wondering why i look very asian and yet i am talking in english with an accent of course.

i also read an article saying that muslims beat their wives. maybe in some parts but not all turkish. because i remember that while i was sitting at my boyfriends porch , we saw his old male neighbor and he said that everybody in his neigborhood hates him. he said that he was hated because he is cruel to his wife and kids. it means that they opposed to wife beating. he also said that his wife should call the police. one week before i go back here, he proposed to me and i said yes. he will soon be here early next year. but before he go here , i will visit turkey one more time and we will go here together.

i would say that let us not judge muslims. they are human beings as we are. we should remember that they also know how to love. in every part of the world there is domestic violence, every part of the world has their own culture and beliefs. what's important is how we respect and love each other. as an immigrant to america i know what culture clashes means. i too have my asian and american traits that my parents couldnt understand until now. as for my turkish muslim boyfriend....he is not perfect as i am. my advice....take a trip to turkey to understand what i am talking about. you will soon find yourself going back again and again.

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