To Laura- I was married for 3 years to a turkish man

Submitted by gardenia (Canada), May 27, 2007 at 19:16

Laura,

I was married for 3 years to a turkish man who used me to get his papers. In the beginning he was funny, sweet, shy and charming. that changed. We are now separated and are getting a divorce. He was abusive in every way. Like you, he did not want me to go out by myself(even though I did), he tried to isolate me from my family and he basically controlled everything I did.

Don't be fooled. Any man who really loves you would not try to control you. He would trust you and not be jealous, although a little jealousy is normal. He wouldn't tell you he cheated on you and then recant it. He may have cheated on you out of spite because you left h im. Not all turkish men are bad. But the warning signs are all there. He is abusive, and it will only get worse. Now, it is jealousy and yelling, later it will be punching and kicking. My family hated my husband too. If the people who really love you don't lke the man then the red flags should be going up. You have a chance to end this now and save yourself a lot of heartache later. believe me I really loved my husband and the separation was horrible, but time has passed and I am ok. You will be too. Oh, self esteem plays a big role in this too. Don't try to find happiness and self love through someone else. Take care and be careful.

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