Different paths to the same destination

Submitted by Seamus Dafydd Dives MacNemi (United States), Nov 5, 2009 at 01:53

I think that I experienced G-D first as a young child walking in the forest. I was far away from the world of men and their mortal concerns just adrift in the wonder of being alive. I knew then that my mere existence was in itself a miracle. Just being alive was a wonder for me. I thought that most people weren't really alive but they were living in a semi stupor only bearely conscious of their true beings. I don't think I ever lost that sense that most men were basically dead to the Spirit. How else could I explain their cruelties and brutalities?

I knew of G-D before I was old enough to read any book because every sense of my being told me that HE WAS in all of the livingness of the world arround me. I could experience G-D directly in almost the same way that I experience you in writing this post. From the beginning there was a dialogue between myself and that "OTHER" that informed my every waking moment. How can I explain it? It was like having an invisible parent guiding me through the world telling me what to do and what not to do, what to eat and what not to eat, how to make things and how to provide for myself.

I was born naturally left handed and I learned very quickly in my youth that my being "Different" was not always seen in a positive light. I was always being told that I was "Too Sensitive" what ever that was supposed to mean. I have always been a natural empath and one who could sense things in others that they would often want to keep hidden from those arround them. I could look at a man and immediately I knew what he was afraid of and what he would most likely do if pressed in certain matters.

People thought that I was overly imaginative and perhaps verging on the realm of madness. Often I was told that the G-D of my experience was only a figment of my imagination. For that reason a lot of people were afraid of me and I was not generally welcome in most places where I was known to any degree. I was "That wierd kid" who averybody talks about but nobody really knows to any degree of truth. So I spent a lot of time alone.

But, it's strange that I never really felt alone. I felt no sense of loss for not having a lot of friends to play with. I could be quite content going off by myself into the woods to play. I could spend hours talking to my invisible friend, a being I could not see directly but who I could sense in presence of feeling and in the tickling of my mind with thoughts to which I was unaccustomed. The new questions that would come to my mind and the new avenues of exploration that opened up as a result. Even today I still approach every thing as a dialogue between myself and some other much like this dialogue between the two of us. "I and Thou".

Of course I am aware that most of what I am telling you is strictly subjective for my own part. A product of the internal dialogue I hold with my invisible friend who is also strictly a product of my subjective imagination. There is absolutely no way for me to prove to you that this being actually exists any where but in my mind. But the fact that HE exists at all is to me a miraculous realization. I am told that it is the way my left handed brain is wired that gives me these thoughts. I seem to have neuronal connections that are uncommon in the greater world of men. Perhaps I am quite mad but I do not consider myself so. I think I have perhaps just a different kind of sanity. I need no external supports for my being.

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