Mansoor: All about misguided jokers and jokes

Submitted by Plato (India), Nov 2, 2008 at 03:57

Mansoor, you wrote:

>>Jokers like those quoting Ahadees without reference are common here...<<

Mansoor, here are some jokes from the hadith, quoted with reference:

Volume 6, Book 60, Number 311: Narrated Aisha:

I used to look down upon those ladies who had given themselves to Allah's Apostle and I used to say, "Can a lady give herself (to a man)?" But when Allah revealed: "You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives), and you may receive any of them whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily).' (33.51) I said (to the Prophet), "I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires."

Nice little joke Allah played on Aisha and her co-wives

Muslim: Book 008, Number 3366: (also 3367 and 3368)

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: When a woman spends the night away from the bed of her husband, the angels curse her until morning. ……

Nice little joke Allah has played on women. He has employed as many angels as there are Muslim women to spy on their sex lives.

Here is the Prophet making a joke of Allah's laws:

Muslim Book 62, Number 18:
Narrated 'Ursa:
The Prophet asked Abu Bakr for 'Aisha's hand in marriage. Abu Bakr said "But I am your brother." The Prophet said, "You are my brother in Allah's religion and His Book, but she (Aisha) is lawful for me to marry."

Bukharihari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 37:

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:
It was said to the Prophet, "Won't you marry the daughter of Hamza? "He said, "She is my foster niece (brother's daughter)."

Abu Bakr is Muhammad's brother in Allah's book and religion. Yet he marries his daughter. Hamza and Muhammad had been suckled by the same woman and so became foster brothers. But Muhammad refuses the offer (was she a toothless old hag?). Allah's laws can be treated as a joke if it prevents you from marrying the girl of your desire.
The suckling issue brings up another Islamic joke:

Book 008, Number 3427:

Umm Salama said to 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her): A young boy who is at the threshold of puberty comes to you. I, however, do not like that he should come to me, whereupon 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) said: Don't you see in Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) a model for you? She also said: The wife of Abu Hudhaifa said: Messenger of Allah, Salim comes to me and now he is a (grown-up) person, and there is something that (rankles) in the mind of Abu Hudhaifa about him, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Suckle him (so that he may become your foster-child), and thus he may be able to come to you (freely).

You have quoted the Koran and I found the following verses in it:

……[78:21] Surely Jahannam (the Hell) lurks in ambush. [78:22] (It is) abode for the rebellious people [78:23] who will be abiding in it for ages. [78:24] They will taste nothing cool in it, nor a drink, [78:25] except boiling water and pus,…..

I can see you in heaven hollering in laughter at the sight of dhimmi, Infidel, and me having boiling water and pus forced down our throats while you, Mansoor will be cavorting in heaven. Let Allah describe what he has in store for you: [78:31] Of course, the God-fearing will have great achievement, [78:32] __gardens and grapes, [78:33] and buxom maidens of matching age, [78:34] and goblets filled up to the brim.

Allah really knows how to play jokes with his own creatures. He misguides (6:125) them and then force feeds them with pus for being misguided. A real joker, is your Allah.

>> People are in dark...we can just pray for them... <<

Yes please pray for us, Mansoor, maybe the joker in heaven will have some mercy on jokers like us who joke about Him.

Regards

Plato

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